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Monday Funny - Fractured Dictionary

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Jul 25, 2005.

  1. Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.

    Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.

    Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a loan.

    Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.

    Control \kon-trol'\: A short, ugly inmate.

    Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

    Eclipse \i-klips'\: what an English barber does for a living.

    Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\: a clumsy ophthalmologist.

    Heroes \hee'-rhos\: what a guy in a boat does.

    Left Bank \left' bangk'\: what the robber did when his bag was full of loot.

    Misty \mis'-tee\: How some golfers create divots.

    Paradox \par'-uh-doks\: two physicians.

    Parasites \par'-uh-sites\: what you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

    Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: a helper on the farm.

    Polarize \po'-lur-ize\: what penguins see with.

    Primate \pri'-mat\: removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

    Relief \ree-leef'\: what trees do in the spring.

    Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: what you do to relax your wife.

    Seamstress \seem'-stres\: describes 250 pounds in a size six.

    Selfish \sel'-fish\: what the owner of a seafood store does.

    Subdued \sub-dood'\: like, a guy, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man.

    Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\: bringing litigation against a government.
  2. can I steal this???

    HOOT :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  3. A new funny!!!!
    And a FUNNY funny too!!!