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Monday Funny - Bad Timing!!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Oct 17, 2005.

  1. Dear Husband:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I 'm leaving you for good.

    I've been a good woman to you for twelve years and I have nothing to show for it.

    These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me any more, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me any more, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

    PS. If you're trying to find me, don't; your BROTHER and I are moving away to Florida together! Have a great life!

    Your EX-Wife

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
    Dear Ex-Wife

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

    It's true that you and I have been together for twelve years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

    I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was you look just like a man! My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating chicken twenty-seven years ago.

    I went to sleep when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

    After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

    When I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Grand Cayman. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter
    that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

    Rich As Hell and Free!

    PS. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
  2. and the devil is in the PS
    good chuckle as usual!!
  3. oh that lucky bastard... hahahaha, some people have all the luck :LOL:

    top joke and again never seen before