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Monday Funny - Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Nov 28, 2005.

  1. 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

    Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
    You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.


    - Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    - Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
    - If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
    - And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan!!!!!

    PVDA takes no responsibility for injuries from taking this advice.
  2. Point 2 and point 4 could be combined to solve two problems with one method :LOL:
  3. hmmm..... i didn't get my to eat my cereal today, glad you could help me out pvda :p

    moving along nothing to see here :LOL:
  4. Thank you to the Moderator who changed the Subject title on this due to it being partially in Capital Letters :evil:

    Of course a simple PM asking me to edit it, which I have now done, would've been sufficient but it was a case of being in a hurry and cut & pasting the title in.

    Oh, point taken, it is rude to shout :wink:
  5. if the missus is laying in bed like a cold fish and you want to spice up the sex life .
    dont use KY use deepheat ...................................by the way wear a condom too :LOL:
    flame suit on waiting for the ladfies replys