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Monday Funny - 100%

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by pvda, Sep 26, 2005.

  1. Yes it's late but I've been escorting contractors around various sites in Geelong all day and again tomorrow.

    From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

    What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

    Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

    If:
    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    is represented as:

    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

    Then:



    H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


    and


    K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
    11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


    But,


    A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


    And,


    B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%


    AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.


    A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%


    So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullsh1t and Ass kissing that will put you over the top


    Don't you just Love it!!!
     
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  2. Are we to assume that this information is gained from experience, or should we be charitable and assume observation??
    Good one, mate!
     
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  3. Hardwork - Me, never.

    Asskissing - Me, never.

    Attitude - Me, well I'm not saying :p (those that know me keep your mouth's shut or my attitude might come and bite you)
     
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  4. well was going to give you crap about how late the monday funny was, but that was worth the wait.....

    hats of to you pvda
     
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  5. i liked it.

    I"d prefer just to be an asshole and get over it

    1+19+19+8+15+12+5


    89% for Leonard
     
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