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Mid Week Funny - Drive Thro ATM Instructions

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by pvda, Aug 31, 2005.

  1. Banking at an ATM

    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed.

    "Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    3. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    4. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    5. Drive off.


    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    11. Enter PIN.

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of chequebook.

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.

    20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

    23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Re-dial person on cell phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    27. Release Parking Brake.
  2. You are going to be in SOO much trouble for this, you are going to need Deyago's Atomic Whacking Stick, cos they're going to come and get you!!
  3. oh, thats the best thing i have read all week :LOL: classic :LOL:
  4. Funny 'cause it's true? :LOL:
  5. There's only two female members who have ever met me so I think I'm safe until some of the others stumble across me one day :p
  6. Classic, pdva.
    Like most of these "lists' what makes it funny is that we've all seen things like that happen.
    I loved it.
  7. Drive Thru ATM :LOL: :LOL: Love to see that in Sydney, they drive of with them around here. Drive thru with a forklift.
  8. funny stuff....