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Meaty Bites

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Kermie, Dec 6, 2010.

  1. I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Coles and was standing in line at the check-out.

    A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

    Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my d1ck and a car hit me.

    I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

    Stupid b1tch...why else would I buy dog food??

  2. I was so not expecting the punchline.


  3. Hilarious - it's like all those people who see me standing there in my jacket with helmet in hand, and ask "Do you ride a motorbike?"
  4. Or when I go to a maccas and get a meal with a drink, and they ask if it's have there or take away. I GOT A FLIPPING DRINK!!! how can I shove that on my bike?!
  5. Blackster you are a legend. "We're not worthy!!!"

  6. You'd be surprised.
  7. that is an awesome story, i'd like to have been in the line and laughing : )
  8. I always say (almost always to colleagues who see me at work with a helmet) "No I just carry this around to look cool and pick up chicks".

    Was the best joke ever until I had to get the bike towed and get a train home. One guy from work took a pic of me on the train and then everyone actually thought I didn't ride.
  9. The punchline I expected, the penultimate line however.... I was definitely not.