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Making an ape out of the man...

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by mattb, Jun 30, 2008.

  1. Hi All.

    This morning when I got up there was no milk so I thought I'd leave straight for work and buy breakfast there. The bike took a couple of kicks and started up, and then as I was getting my helmet on, it started over over-reving. Then stalled. I couldn't work out what was wrong till I realised I'd forgotten to turn the 'choke' off. Kick-starting a big single is a manly and painful event. It puts your back out! I kicked and kicked, and swore and swore but it wouldn't start. Even tried push-starting the bike (again...big singles = not easy). Covered in sweat, hungry and thirsty and time running out. Then I took the plug out: of course, I had fouled it when the 'choke' was left on! Put in a new plug, but again - kicking and kicking an nothing! Arrg!! "You f***ing c***!!" It was getting worse and the devil was getting into my mouth! My back was out by this time and I knew a headache was on its way, I wouldn't have time to eat anything, and I was covered in sweat and parched and would be late for work to boot! "Stupid b***y bike; it's all your fault you stupid bike!!" I gave it a good slap just to punish it...

    ...looked down, and I'd failed to put the plug cap back on...

    If I'd used my head, I'd have replaced the plug after a few kicks when it had stalled - I'd have reflected that the stalling on an open choke was most probably a case of fouling - and it would no doubt have started first kick! Don't use your head, and you get stuck acting like an ape!


    (Loz, I think I'd better read that book again!)
  2. My bike has button to push for the starting of delicious motorcycle.

    Is good.
  3. what is this "kickstart" hocus pocus??? :wink:
  4. I was expecting a lean over-rev from starting it with the fuel tap turned off.
  5. :LOL: My dad used to say "The obvious is not always apparent".
  6. You see? Breakfast IS the most important meal of the day.
  7. This is why you should never run out of milk
  8. you could have walked ya lazy slob.
  9. A long time ago, the day I picked up my first big bike, a brand new red Yamaha XS650 with twin disc brakes on the front, I rode to an evening social event. No-one felt cooler than me as I prepared to make an exit in front of the admiring audience. (everyone else had piddling 125, 175, 250 machines).

    Key on. Press electric leg button. Nothing. Not even a click. All the right lights seem to be on. Bugger, better start kicking. Remember this is my first big bore 4 stroke, so the process wasn't elegant. I was losing face rapidly. Not even a flutter. Got very tired very quickly.

    Stop for breath while trying to appear unconcerned. Happen to glance at kill switch. Kill switch is on. Flick it off, start and ride off not feeling very cool anymore.

    And I did it again a couple of years ago leaving for work one morning on the old GS850. Must have taken 5 minutes for the penny to drop as I started to pull the side cover off to check fuses.

    None of us ever quite forgets how to forget the obvious.
  11. Heh heh yeah you've got to be a thinkin' rider to work one of them thar thingies. I've never worked kick starts out, even a perfectly maintained bike has me aping it up.
  12. We've all done it

    ...only I raced back inside & dragged the bf out of bed at 6am (when I had to leave early but he didn't) because something was 'wrong' with my bike. It took him all of 2 seconds to realise it was the kill switch, gave me a disgruntled look and headed back to bed.

    Needless to say, he wasn't impressed. I rode all the way home thinking it was hilarious! :LOL:
  13. The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get!
  14. I always park my bike in gear.

    When I go to start the bike up, I lean the bike to the right off the kickstand, hold the throttle with my right hand, the back with the left and give the kicker a massive kick. People are always watching me as I do this, and what they see is some idiot getting thrown forward because he forgot to put it in neutral or pull in the clutch lever. I do this ALL the time..
  15. You need one of those back wheel starters like the motoGP bikes use!
  16. I just tossed my battery for a capacitor, so no electrics unless the engine's running, so no neutral light - I'm waiting for this to happen to me!