A lost man came upon a small house owned by an old Chinese man. "I’m lost," said the young man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," he replied, "but if you touch my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." The daughter appeared – she was young, beautiful, and couldn’t keep her eyes off the visitor. So during the night, he snuck into her room for a night of passion. In the morning he woke to feel pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note that read, "Chinese Torture #1: Large rock on chest." "That’s pretty lame," he thought. He then threw the boulder out the window. He then noticed another note: "Chinese Torture #2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he figured a few broken bones was better than castration, so he jumped out after it. As he plummeted he saw a large sign on the ground: "Chinese Torture #3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."