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Little Ralphy

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by bigmik, May 14, 2012.

  1. LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds
    sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She
    calls on little Ralphy..
    He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.' The
    teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'

    Then little RALPHY says, 'I have a question for YOU.

    There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
    One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
    The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
    The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
    Which one is married?'
    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one
    that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'

    To which Little RALPHY replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the
    wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking.'


    LITTLE RALPHY ON MATH (Part 2)

    Little RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
    'Why?' asks the father?

    'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies RALPHY.
    'But that's right!' says his dad.

    'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''

    'What's the ****in' difference?' asks the father. 'That's what I said!'
    LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISH
    Little RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going
    to learn multi-syllable words, class.. Does anybody have an example of a
    multi-syllable word?'

    RALPHY says 'Mas-tur-bate.'

    Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little RALPHY, that's a mouthful..'
    Little RALPHY says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob..'


    LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR

    Little RALPHY was sitting in class one day.
    All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.
    He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'

    The teacher replied, 'Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in
    this situation.
    The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
    Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow
    you to go.'
    Little RALPHY, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if
    you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!'

    LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)

    One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
    of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same
    sentence twice..
    First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought
    my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.'

    'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little
    Michael.

    'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.'
    She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on
    little RALPHY.
    'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
    pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ****in' beautiful!''

    LITTLE RALPHY ON GETTING OLDER
    Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after
    another.
    After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know
    eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your
    teeth, and make you fat.'
    Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'
    The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'
    Little RALPHY answered, 'No, he minded his own ****in' business. alt


     
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    • Like Like x 1
  2. Haha, loved it!
     
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  3. I thiought they were all Johnnie, not Ralphy. Anyway...

    Teacher asks little Johnnie to use the word CONTAGIOUS in a sentence.

    "My dad was watching the blonde next door paint her fence with a one inch brush, and he shook his head and said to me, Boy! That'll take that CONTAGIOUS."
     
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  4. yeah there all little johnny jokes and most of them are from the movie
     
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