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Light bulbs, and the required amount of people to change 'em

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by hornet, Dec 6, 2005.

  1. terrifying risk, this, but how about a few lightbulb jokes, since Paul let us down with no Monday Funny :(

    Q: How many type A personalities does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to tell him he's doing it all wrong.


     
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  2. Re: Light bulbs, and the required amount of people to change

    Sorry about that. A combination of having 10 hours of work to do in 6 hours and just plain forgetting to post something :facepalm:

    I've got one lined up for the Hump Day Funny tomorrow.
     
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  3. Here are a few... (how many did you want!) :)

    Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.

    Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

    Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
    A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

    Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None. It turned itself in.

    Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

    Q: How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None; assholes never see the light anyway.

    Q: How many Necrophiliacs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: None. Necrophiliacs prefer dead bulbs.
     
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  4. Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.
     
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  5. How many country western singers?

    1 to change the lightbulb, 99 to sing about how good the old one was.
     
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  6. Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: 10. 1 to screw in the bulb and 9 more to stand around and talk about how they could've done it better.
     
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  7. How many mice?

    Only 2, but you've got to get them in there first somehow.
     
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  8. How many hardcore feminists?

    (Shouts) ONE!!!!

    Or alternatively, one to change the lightbulb, the rest to SUCK MY COCK.
     
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  9. Q. How many BSA riders does it take to change a light-bulb?
    A. Doesn't matter, one Lucas globe is as bad as another...
     
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  10. "How many vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?"

    "Dunno"

    "Well I guess you weren't f&*^%ing there then!"


    How many Toorak/<insert posh suburb> girls does it take?

    Two, one to hold the diet cokes, one to yell "Daddy!"
     
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  11. How many NetRiders would it take to change a light bulb?

    1 to change the bulb
    25 to brag about the last time THEY changed a bulb like that
    5 to complain that the bulb changer wasn't wearing the right safety gear
    5 to say "wow man, you really changed that bulb" and request a DVD
    5 to complain that all this bulb changing discussion is going to lead to a police crackdown
    1 to make a dirty joke about it
    1 to argue that changing that bulb was impossible according to his physics Ph.D.
    3 to ask what's a good bulb for a learner to change
    5 to ridicule the lightbulb manufacturer
    2 to start talking about something completely different
    2 to say nothing online but quietly bag the bulb-changer at coffee night

    and...
    1 moderator to take the lightbulb away and throw it in the bin.
     
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