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Letting family know this week. Help!

Discussion in 'New Riders and Riding Tips' started by bastian, Jan 27, 2016.

  1. #1 bastian, Jan 27, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2016
    So for some context; a few years ago I let the parents know about my intention to buy a motorcycle and it didn't exactly go down smoothly however it went down. Went out to purchase gear, some resistance but overall approval. Arose early one Sunday morning to go and collect the bike, to be told I was not getting the motorcycle under any circumstances.

    Licence expired, etc. A few years have passed now, and this Friday represents my 21st so I figure it's not a bad time to bring the news up. I purchased the bike in Mid-November and it has been a complex game of covering tracks and being stealthy to ensure it is not seen.

    I mentioned the possibility of me purchasing a bike to parents a month or so ago as I began to work out what I wanted re transport going forward, and was told to expect to be booted out of home upon purchase. One of the two parents is known for knee-jerk reactions to a severe extent, so it will not be a pleasant experience no matter how it is presented.

    So I suppose I'm after some ideas and suggestions for how to go about this from those who either have been there before, or just have advice.

    In case it sounds like I'm irrationally worried, when I advised I was moving from university to full-time employment, I faced an entire hour of constant beration outlining the failure I was.

    Any advice, tips, etc, very welcome. Entire family will be present, along with best friend and partner. Would rather it not be a fireworks display. :coldfeet:

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  2. #2 cjvfr, Jan 27, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2016
    Share Accommodation - Flatmates.com.au

    Failing that:
    • We all need to do our bit for the environment Motorcycles:
      • Cause less wear and tear on roads.
      • Use less fuel
      • Cause less road congestion.
    • Motorcycles are easier to park
      • Both at home making it easier for other family member to get their cars in and out.
      • In the city/suburbs.
    • You are going to undertake motorcycle safety training to improve your skills and safety.
    • You will get the best gear you can afford to protect you if you have an incident,
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  3. Not to many options unfortunately.

    You either ride it home when they are both home then have a discussion about it including how long you've had it for.

    Or you tell simply them you have it and hope they have a calm reaction and you can discuss.

    Either way Id tee up a mate in case you need a place to stay for a night or two
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  4. This is going to be fun! (well, fun for most of us anyway!). Don't forget the video, it might help pay the bond on the new place when you move.

    How about you tell your mum that life is getting boring so you plan to take a position servicing military installations in Afghanistan? If she manages to talk you out of that career choice (over several days) thank her very much for her advice, tell her she is right and that you have decided to buy a bike as an outlet for your adventurous spirit.

    She will be delighted you have decided to stay.
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  5. You know my thoughts as discussed on the weekends ride ........ WHEN YOU BREAK THE NEWS HAVE THE CAMERA ROLLING AND POST ON HERE !!!! :snaphappy: (y)
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  6. You have given this some thought since the weekend (y) you're a true friend :playful:
  7. [​IMG]Honestly dude
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  8. Still have that poster from when you were a teen Uncle GregUncle Greg :p
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  9. Well, it sort of puts the "safety" concerns in perspective !
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  10. Thoughts are with you, mate, I hope it goes OK.
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  11. I was out at almost 17
    yes and had a bike learners at 17/9 months
    my father paid for a new bike when I was 18

    he swore Bloody Murder that I would never ride a bike in my life before I left home
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  12. There's really only one option

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  13. Good luck with that mate.

    Are you working full time now? If they do kick you out do you have a plan? If not it may be prudent to have something arranged in the event it all goes to shit. Even if it's couch surfing for a few nights/weeks until the storm blows over.

    Realistically which is more likely if push comes to shove - are you going to give up the bike or are they going to kick you out? Or just be kissed as hell for a bit.
  14. Thank you for feedback, help and humour. I should add that there is a family dinner this Friday night where all family and friends and partner will be. Friend is planning a hidden recording and the right people know about it so they'll see it coming. To answer questions, I work for myself full time. I believe she would if she wanted to, but she'd weigh it up beforehand. I'm not giving up the bike. I have mates I can couch surf with. Already lined up places on flatmates. It's going to be an interesting evening, might get a few cold ones down first. And my steak of course. Being kicked out isn't a worry at all, just not a fan of unnecessary confrontation with family. Any other advice and humour always welcome. :)
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  15. Tell em its either the bike or smack, their choice
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  16. choose the smack
    its cheaper
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  17. Hi Bastian, I had a similar fear with my folks, even though I'm much older and not living at home. My folks (especially mum) is a slight bit 'the sky is falling down' dramatic type, I just rode the bike over casually the day they got back from an overseas trip and said "Hi, welcome home! This? Oh it's just my bike I've been riding carefully and responsibly for the last few months and I can't stay long because I have to go to my weekly practice session at Homebush so I can become an incredibly safe rider" or something along those lines O:). The reaction was not nearly as bad as I pictured.
    My advice is ride it to the dinner, don't drink. Behave really responsibly. Then be sure to not fall off as you exit the drive way.:whistle:
    Good luck!
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  18. Firstly, welcome to the wonderful world of motorcycling.

    I went through a similar scenario although I was living out of home at the time:
    Parental unit A is driven by emotion and parental unit B is more reasonable; neither would have approved of the purchase.

    So acting on the premise that forgiveness is easier to obtain than permission I, like you, made my purchase. I then got parental unit B alone and explained the reasons for my decision. Whilst parental unit B was not overjoyed, they understood my perspective.

    Having gained said understanding I then asked parental unit B to explain my reasons to parental unit A without me being present. This worked pretty well in that it wasn't a public annonincent and, more importantly, the emotional parent heard the news and the reasons from someone who they respected and trusted. Additionally, seeing that the news bearer was, in a way, both convinced and advocating on my behalf really mitigated any immediate and severe emotional reactions.

    A few days later we all got together and, by that time, all of the emotion had dissipated - after all, it's a done deal. I then further cemented my case to parental unit A by promising to invest in advanced riding courses. I can only assume that they have not bothered to google "CSBS" or "track days", so I remain in the good books.

    Good luck
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  19. Thanks to Sibi, AltEgo, cjvfr and others for your helpful posts. Really positive to see so much support.

    I don't mind the idea of telling the more rational parent ahead of time. Sadly can't arrive to the dinner on the bike as I need to drive partner and friend home, etc.

    Since I've had the bike, I've been on 4+ group rides and have put 3000KM of rubber down; I aim to be a safe rider.

    Camera will be rolling so I'll post it up when it's all done and dusted. If I live to tell the story.
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