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Learners - dealing with parents

Discussion in 'New Riders and Riding Tips' at netrider.net.au started by Rockjob, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. Hi, i'm new to the forum!

    I'm wanting to get into motorbike riding. Doing my learners course tomorrow (YAY)

    I suffered the usual thing of telling people that I want to ride and have them go "It's oh so dangerous. I heard of this motorcyclist one time, they fell off and <blah blah blah>"
    me: "Have you ever riden one?"
    Them: "uhhh... no"

    Aside from that, my parents are understandably against it. They are pretty serious about it. They forbid me to bring a bike home. I just tell them, they cant stop me, let go already.

    Now they are threatening that if I bring a bike home, they will rip parts off so it wont work. This actually worries me, I love my mum but she doesnt even understand how a toaster works. I fear if she starts pulling parts off, the bike will still work and it will kill me on a corner because of something she pulled off.

    I've given them some time to get use to the idea, but they an't coming round. I would have expected them to see that their threats wont stop me and they should help me make sure ive got good gear.

    They are going away to canada in september. I could wait till they leave, but I want to get a bike as soon as possible.

    Anyone else had to deal with these shenanigans?

  2. First. Motorcycling IS dangerous. acknowledge that at least.
    Second. Removing parts that could make it more dangerous would be a criminal offence.
    Third. Any reason why you need their permission?
  3. Sit down with em and talk about it! Don't bring a bike home until you have, because you will only strain your relationship with them.

    Find out what their concerns are, and try to address them. Make them see, in a logical fashion, that there isn't anything they can do to stop you...

    Tell them if they're so worried about your safety, they can contribute monetarily to quality safety gear for you to wear ;) At least then they have done something to help you
  4. You're 20, move out or do as they say. It IS their house.

    Regards, Andrew.
  5. wow speedy repsonse, thanks guys
    I know its dangerous, im not going to buy a bike and instantly start commuting with it. I only plan to ride it when i know I can concentrate 100%, if not ill take my car.

    I don't need their permission, but they seem to think I do. I'm 20, i could have done all this when I was 18, but I put it off.

    Ive tried to sit down and talk with them about it, they have tried to sit me down and talk about it. They tell me how dangerous it is and how stupid i am for considering it, but as so as i say they cant change my mind and they should help me with good gear etc, they just get up, say its forbidden and walk off.

    Its all so one sided.....
  6. Hey Rockjob, they are your parents; to them you are still the little kid who loved warm porridge on a winter's morning and would come inside with a cut on your knee begging for a bandaid. They still remember the time you fell out of a tree, had a really bad dose of chicken pox and broke up with your first girldfriend [that hurt didn't it]. You will ALWAYS be that little boy [I assume you are a boy] so parents will try and protect you.

    Don't be angry about it, rejoice in it. A lot of kids don't have that today!

    Anyway, you are 20 and are a free agent. I would not try to stop my kids from buying a bike but I would pay for and insist on them doing some HART or similair courses straight away. I would also be a ATGATT type of parent as well.

    Give ya mum a hug and tell her ya love her.
  7. i moved out (bought a house) and bought a bike.

    it is their house, and they are your parents, so respect that. you can always wait and get a bike later on in life. rushing into it, getting your parents off side, possibility of them endangering you by removing parts, and/or kicking you out of home isnt worth it.

    just wait
  8. Took me almost a year for my parents to not want to throw things at me when I brought it up. And my mum used to ride with my dad on his cb250 back in the day. So I got the other argument, you know the 'roads are alot more dangerous these days, etc. etc.' thing.

    I just stressed that I would be doing it for enjoyment, so if I tried it and didn't like it, I'd wouldn't continue. On that basis I did the pre-learner course at HART and wouldn't be stopped after that. Good luck with your persuasion.
  9. It is not unreasonable for them to be concerned.
    It is a unreasonable to damage your bike.

    As they have brought you up for the last 20 years of your life there needs to be a little GIVE and take. You can't just expect to be able to get what you want all the time. And definitely don't take the "or just move out" attitude as that is not a solution.

    Talk to them, explain the whole learning process and maybe take them with you to look at motorbikes. My dad is a doctor and he was obviously against me riding too - he of all people know how I could end up if things go wrong. However we went shopping together and after talking to dealers / riders etc he was put a lot more at ease. I also went and bought some of the best gear I could find to help ease his worries.

    At the end of the day they need to realise there is nothing they can do to stop you but at the same time you need to meet them half way and show you are doing everything you can to mitigate the associated risks. They are after all your parents and they do care about you. My gf is exactly the same as my parents. Yay.
  10. i wished my parent said like that. they just said plain ok..
  11. I'm in a similar position although i have the added advantage of having relatives overseas who ride, backing up my argument strongly + when i go over there i will practice.
    If you have any relatives who ride ask them and it'll seem as a safety net of some sorts to ur rents.
  12. I was in the same position, but i just kept on bringing it up, pretty much every night, and told them about doing the Pre-L's course, how they teach you everything, blah blah blah... They came around to it eventually, even so i bought my bike when they were up in QLD for a few weeks :LOL:

    THEN i had a crash and had to go through it all over again...

    My girlfriend just bought her first bike (didn't take ANY persuasion at all :p )... now to convince her parents :roll:
  13. Ahh, phizog ZZR250. Thats probably what im going to get.
    That "roads are more dangerous now" thing has been thrown around too.

    I doubt they will kick me out. They actually care, so kicking me out into the big bad world with a motorbike is probably their worst case senerio.

    I am actually doing the pre-learners course with a friend ive know since i was 5. His mother is the same. His father use to ride though. I was over there the other night and she was jokingly calling me the devil, getting her son into motorbikes. The thing about "I could have gone and done this when I was 17" came up. Was amusing to ask the father at what age he started riding. His response was "I refuse to answer on the grounds it will incrimate me"
    We are both 20 now and are on green P's (no accidents) so I'd like to think that counts for something.
  14. no one in my family said diddly. damn no one cares :(

    my dad wants to get a liscence now too haha
  15. ha there is the problem, she doesn't want her boy turning into his dad! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :(
  16. He doesnt ride anymore, but that could be it.
    She said that she hated worrying about him.

    They told me this one story about an accident he had.
    She had bought him a new bike and leathers for a birthday of his.
    One day he rang her up and told her to come to pick him up. She arrived and said "Where's your bike"
    He said "Over there, over there and some when over there somewhere".
    I dont know exactly what happened but he climbed down off a car roof with no broken bones.

    She didnt let him repair the bike(or what was left of it).
    The wife give'th and the wife take'th away :grin:
  17. How do you reckon I went, my mum's dad got cleaned up [killed] on his bike at 86! She was not happy at all but in the end she still talks to me, just don't mention the bike
  18. Damm, I think you win. She actually has direct "motorbiker got hurt" story, rather than all the hearsay crap i get.
  19. Sit right down and let old fart Davo tell you a story :cool:

    Someone said:
    I had 12yrs break from riding bikes, now I could live on one. When I returned to bikes my wife although not against it was worried about how traffic had changed and power had increased in bikes. I assured her I would not be crazy but ylou know what worked.

    Act and talk about bikes in a relaxed fashion, like its what everyone does. When you ride, take care and take pictures of pretty places you go. Take pics of nak...... oops friends and let them see they nice people who you are riding with. If its netriders then its most likely not all a bunch or 20yr old and they will see you are socialising with "grown ups" LOL

    Basically don't do anything stupid, ride carefully and involve them with your interests. I know this does not overcome the initial "how do I get a bike and hide it from the olds" but it may be helfull.

    My wife, she now knows I take extreme care, plan well and ride within my limits. Does she worry ? yeah a bit but then most people who love you would if you rode like I do. So she is ok with it all and even helps with plans etc.
  20. My mum didn't like the idea of me riding a bike either - so I told her I'd compromise.

    I asked her if she would be ok with me riding a scooter instead? (Despite the fact that 80ks is 80ks)

    She said yes, so now she thinks I'm riding a scooter.

    My mum lives in Tassie...... :grin: