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Lawyers - a joke

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by jackarau, May 4, 2005.

  1. Subject:Lawyers - a joke

    If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been
    as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defence
    attorney during a felony trial.
    The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...

    Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
    A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the
    description of the offender, running several blocks away."

    Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
    A: "The officer who responded to the scene."

    Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called
    offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?"
    A: "Yes, sir. With my life."

    Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer. Do you
    have a room where you change your clothes for duty.
    A: "Yes sir, we do."

    Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
    A: "Yes sir, I do."

    Q: "And do you have a lock on your
    A: "Yes sir."

    Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers
    with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room
    you share with these same officers?"
    A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court
    complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that

    The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.
    The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best
    Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.

  2. This is a classic (and oh so true!!!!) :D :LOL: :D
  3. I thought this was brilliant. I would love to have a wit as quick as that.
    Funny too, how nobody likes a lawyer until you need one and then they're your best friend...:LOL:
  4. are you a lawyer nodz?

  5. Me...no...not smart (read devious or logical) enough for that. Undergrad in Chem, Applied Chem and Computers. Postgrad (Dip and Masters) in Business/Management
  6. Ah so that makes you a Geek then (explains the CB250)

    :D :D :D :D :D :D
    :wink: :wink: :wink:
  7. Thass right...damn tootin...and proud of it...:LOL:
  8. oh my

    if all that study and all those qualifications still doesnt make you smart... im leaving uni. :(
  9. And this is coming from a copper or a lawyer? :)
  10. Another good come back I witnessed was on the very wet SAturday of this years F1GP.

    A bunch of us marshals were on the shuttle bus to the car park at the end of the day when the Dynamik V8 team members were walking past towards the same car park. Being a kind hearted soul I invited them on board to save them a 1km walk.

    As the bus headed off one of my "Mates" said "Sh1tty weather today, bet it would be much better at Woomera" (If you know your V8's you'll know the signifigance of that comment).

    Immediately one of the team mules replied "with all the signage (we were in a displan Ambulance bus) covered up, we thought this was our bus anyway".

    You had to be there but it has become somewhat of a legendary comment.