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Ladies, we have been doing it all wrong!!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Knightrider, Mar 16, 2005.

  1. This is an actual extract from a sex education school textbook for girls printed in the early 60's in the UK, and written by a woman!!

    "When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed.

    Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.

    When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things, be led by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy.

    Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment, a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

    Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is unlikely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes."

  2. AMEN !!!

    You ladies should be hitting the print button as we speak ...... got it ? !

  3. Hair rollers - the quickest way to announce to the world that you're old...
  4. Oh am am so NOT going to bring this post up at home !!

    whats that ? oh the dishes ............ yes dear right away
    oh and the rubish bin as well .......... not a problem

    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  5. krikey!!! the blokes got it good back in the old days eh :shock: now to put my asics on and show malissa :LOL:
  6. Oh and feed the cat, clean the toilet and oh yeah....DONT YOU DARE FORGET TO TAPE McLeod's Daughters FOR ME!!! LOL :LOL: :p :LOL:
  8. I am so not going to show this to Mrs Nodz. I'll be laughed at and I'll be sleeping in the shed. Oh well at least the shed houses my bike, I'll have some company..:LOL:
  9. I will keep my response short and sweet........

    oh bring back the days of slavery :LOL: :shock: :LOL:


    Jeeez, if a small moan indicates the missus had a good time, I reckon at times I must be an absolute animal of a stud!!!!!

    Boy.. sometimes I reckon Adonis and Fabio couldn't do better by the way I get moaned at :LOL: :p :LOL: :p
  11. I think I am too young to understand this article...
  12. [-o< SO BE IT!!! 8)
  13. where do you keep coming up with this stuff?!?!?! bwahahahahaaha
  14. Must be reading all those textbooks on your shelf again or getting lost among the dusty tomes of the State Library
  15. The things you find in your email Inbox when you get to work of a morning.....

    Everyone at work has had a good laugh and would love to turn the clock back 40 years! :? Not gonna happen fellas! :LOL:
  16. Sure that wasn't 1860's, or 1760's? :)
  17. :LOL: as if that would ever happen now

    ....DONT YOU DARE FORGET TO TAPE McLeod's Daughters FOR ME!!! LOL

    OH MY GOD NNNOOOOOOOOOOO, i got this every bloody week i dont get asked much anymore though as i know the tape/time/channel
    if i ever forgot or missed it i'd be missing my head (and a few other bits too :shock: )