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Ladies and Gentlemen .....wear Leather.

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' at netrider.net.au started by Slider, Jun 15, 2005.

  1. Ladies and Gentlemen .....wear Leather.
    (To the tune of "The Sunscreen Song" :D )

    If I could offer you only one tip for improving your life, leather would be
    it.

    The long term benefits of leather have been proved by serious bikers over
    many highways and many years, whereas wearing something unreliable like
    shorts and flipflops means you will experience a trip to the emergency room.
    There, uncaring nurses will scrub gravel out of your wounds, and doctors
    will dispense ineffective painkillers and meaningless advice...like telling
    you to trade that "murdercycle" in for a Camry.

    Bulls***. I will dispense some real advice right now: (Insert Music here :D )

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your ride; If you don't already; you can fully
    enjoy it by doing block-long smokey burnouts in the parking lot at the local
    drive-in.

    Trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at the photos of you and your pals on
    your bikes and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much fun you had and
    how fabulous you really looked hauling ass down the highway dressed in
    leather.

    Leather is as sexy as you imagine.

    Don't worry about what your Mom thinks; or worry, but know that worrying
    about what other people think is as effective as trying to scratch your nose
    in a blinding hailstorm at 80 m.p.h. with a full- face helmet and winter
    gloves on. The real troubles in your life are apt to be Volvo stationwagons,
    driven by some dipstick talking into his cell phone or doing her makeup; the
    kind that blindside you at 4 PM on some urban roadway and then claim you
    crashed into THEM.

    Do one thing everyday that scares other drivers... Lanesplit.

    Sing into your helmet. Use mouthwash first.

    Don't be reckless with other people's bikes, especially if you don't have
    insurance. Don't put up with people who mess with yours.... in fact, beat
    them with a chain.

    Ride Fast.

    Don't waste your money on chrome, or fancy paintjobs; spend it on racing or
    partying. Sometimes you're fast, sometimes you're slow. Sometimes you're
    hungover. The ride is long, and in the end, a cold beer tastes pretty *****
    good.

    Remember the good rides you've had, forget the cuts and bruises; try to wear
    out the sides of your tires before the middle.... if you succeed in doing
    this, tell me how.



    Keep your oil changed, throw away old traffic citations.
    Take chances.

    Don't feel guilty if you ride faster than the posted limit ...the most
    interesting people I know didn't know at 22 how to ride conservatively, all
    the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
    Get plenty of saddle time.

    Be kind to your passengers, you'll miss them if they fall off.

    Maybe you'll crash, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have surgery, maybe you
    won't, maybe you'll ride a cruiser off a cliff doing 40, maybe you'll get a
    new motocrosser for your 75th birthday ...whatever you ride, don't
    congratulate yourself too much - your choices are 90% foreign,10% domestic,
    so are everyone else's.

    Enjoy your bike, use it every way you can...don't be afraid of it, or what
    other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument of pleasure you'll
    ever own, not counting p0rn sites and a fast modem.

    Wrench... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your hotel room.
    Read the owner's manual, even tho' you won't remember any of it.
    Do not read American motorcycle magazines, they will only make you wish
    you'd bought a British one instead.

    Get to know your brake pads, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
    Be nice to your tires; they are your link to the pavement and the things
    most likely to save your butt from a nasty highside.

    Understand that mechanics comes and mechanics go, but for a precious
    talented few you should pay them well and buy them sixpacks. Work hard to
    bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older your bike gets,
    the more you'll need the mechanic who worked on it when it was young and
    still not paid off.

    Ride in New York City once, but leave before you get killed; ride in
    Northern California whenever possible, but leave a plausible excuse when
    calling in sick for work.

    Do lurid wheelies.

    Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, traffic will get worse,
    you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were
    young, gasoline was cheap, the highway patrol couldn't catch you, and Harley
    owners weren't all yuppies.

    Respect your rev-limiter.

    Don't expect anyone else to see your bike unless it has really loud pipes.
    Maybe your bike has a big gas tank, maybe a smaller one; but remember,
    either way you'll have to make bathroom stops
    .
    Don't mess too much with your carburetors, or by the time your done, you'll
    be walking home.

    Be careful whose advice you buy, and save your receipts. Don't take advice
    from those who supply it for free, especially if they own a Britbike.

    Motorcycle restoration is a form of self-torture. Doing it is a way of
    pulling the past from the dustbin, degreasing it, painting over the rusty
    parts and dumping way more money into it than it's worth.
    But trust me on the leather...
     
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  2. i give you +1 karma if i could. im all karmard out
    thats the most sense ive ever heard.
    ill print it and show it to my now anti motorcyclist father who hates the fact the that i ride, drink and party as hard as he once did.
     
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  3. wear leather = smart
    respect your rev limiter...not if its a Kawasaki 4... 8)
    Ride Fast = not smart

    no points from me..... :p
     
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  4. Unadulterated motorcycling pleasure.

    Amen. 8)
     
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  5. I seriously think you boys are suffering from a SOHF :shock:
    (Sense Of Humour Faliure)
    Lighten up and enjoy life :D
     
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  6. word em up slider
    i thought it was very poetic
    i cant wait to get my plump posterior into a set of leathers. ill wear my batman cape and mask too.
    ROCKIN!
     
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  7. A sence of humour is one thing but most of the members on here are young and impresionable. "L" or "P" platers.

    They read and take note of what advice is given. and as i said.......

    That would be the most disturbing thing I have read in my nearly 40 years on this planet. what a load of unrealaistic dribble, and if anyone takes notice of it you are destined for TROUBLE,HEARTACHE, AND MANY MANY YEARS without a licence.
     
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  8. Well I think it's time to change your signature then Bob :LOL:
    All those impressionable L's and P's might get the wrong idea...?
     
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  9. bourbon-bob Posted: A sence of humour is one thing but most of the members on here are young and impresionable. "L" or "P" platers.
    They read and take note of what advice is given. and as i said.......
    That would be the most disturbing thing I have read in my nearly 40 years on this planet. what a load of unrealaistic dribble, and if anyone takes notice of it you are destined for TROUBLE,HEARTACHE, AND MANY MANY YEARS without a licence.



    well hopefully they dont listen to you :p
     
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  10. Okay, that's it for me. Enough fun for today. I'll need to recover from the last night's party at the Ducati club. I'm off to sleep.

    :D :D :D
     
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  11. sig has nothin to do with alcohol, but you wouldnt know would you,

    and I have never posted a post that encourages drinking and riding,

    but then again I have never posted a post with so much irrisponsibillity as you either.

    and with that you should change your signature or is that how you spend your time sliding down the road when you fall off following your own advice
     
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  12. And I believe you've missed the point yet again... :roll:
    Must be all that drinking :p ...lets just agree to disagree shall we? :)
     
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  13. pleasse tell me the point, I am intruged to know.

    Was it supposed to be funny NOT
    Was it sposed to be informative NOT
     
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  14. Well seeing how I havent given any sort of advice on this post I expect that they wont listen to me.

    Just hope that they don't listen to that shit either or they will come to grief :cry: :cry:
     
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  15. Bob, bob, bob. Join a sowing club mate. Help steer our impressionable youths away from drugs and into home crafts with the help of little baby jesus.
     
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  16. I reckon Bob's right on the money. So, all you L & P platers listen up...


    DON'T USE MOUTHWASH IF YOU'RE GOING TO SING INTO YOUR HELMET

    Mouthwash is full of solvents that could instantly dissolve the helmet straight off your head. This is the most dangerous piece of advice I've ever seen, and if Slider isn't issued an immediate warning then the admins aren't doing their job.

    Goodonya Bob - someone's gotta look out for the newbies.
     
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  17. Well my friend if thats what it takes then it probably isnt a bad idea, it would certainly beat scraping their bodies off the road and puttin em into a body bag as I have done on several occasions. :( :( :( :( :( :(
     
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  18. Thats the point...Can we move on now?
     
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  19. I dont see how giving ridiculous dangerous information to our younger members is lightening up and enjoying life.

    So please tell me how it does.


    or is this your way of an out, due to a ridiculous first post
     
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  20. bourbon-bob wrote:
    Well my friend if thats what it takes then it probably isnt a bad idea, it would certainly beat scraping their bodies off the road and puttin em into a body bag as I have done on several occasions


    were they wearing leathers? i think this was the topic....or am i just rambling too?
     
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