Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

Kids are funny

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by HB, May 24, 2012.

  1. ____________________________________

    TEACHER: Why are you late?
    STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
    JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
    TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
    GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
    DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
    TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
    WINNIE: Me!
    TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
    GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
    TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
    MILLIE: I is..
    TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
    MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
    TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
    Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
    LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
    TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
    TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..
    Did you copy his?
    CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
    TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
    HAROLD: A teacher

  2. One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

    I was maybe 2 1/2 years old.. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favourite toys.

    Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea',
    which was just water.
    After several cups of tea and lots of praise
    for such yummy tea, my Mum came home.

    My Dad made her wait in the living room
    to watch me bring him a cup of
    tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'
    My Mum waited, and sure enough,
    here I come down the hall
    with a cup of tea for Daddy and she
    watches him drink it up.

    Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)

    'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Julia Gillard was visiting a Sydney primary school and the class was in
    the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

    The teacher asked Ms Gillard if she would like to lead the discussion on
    the word 'Tragedy'.

    So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'.

    A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm,
    is playin' in the field and a tractor runs
    over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.'

    'Incorrect,' said Gillard. 'That would be an accident.'

    A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children
    drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside,
    that would be a tragedy.'

    'I'm afraid not', explained Gillard, 'that's what we would refer to as a
    great loss'.

    The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Gillard searched the

    'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

    Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand and said:

    'If a plane carrying you and Mr. Rudd and Mr. Swan and Mr. Garrett was struck

    by a 'friendly fire' missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.'

    'Fantastic' exclaimed Gillard, 'and can you tell me why that would be a

    'Well', said Johnny, 'it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't
    be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be a f****ng accident either!'
    • Like Like x 3