Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.


Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by rat man407, Nov 8, 2012.

  1. • Two guys were roaring down the road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over. His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that." "Just put the jacket on backwards." His friend advised. They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out. A nearby farmer came upon the accident and ran to call the police. They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?" "Well," the farmer explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!"

  2. • A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
    • Officer: May I see your driver's license?
    • Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
    • Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
    • Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.

    • Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
    • Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
    Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
    • Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
    • Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
    • Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
    • Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
    • Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
    • Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
    • Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
    • Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
    • Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
    • Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
    • Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
    • Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
    • Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
    • Like Like x 6
  3. • A police officer pulled over two nuns riding on a motorcycle, and said to the rider, 'Ma'am, you're driving much too slowly, could you please drive faster?"
    • And the nun says, 'Oh, I saw the sign with the "21" and assumed the speed limit was 21 km/h"
    • The officer explains: 'No ma'am, the speed limit is 80. The highway number is Interstate 21."
    • Then the police officer look at the passenger and see the other nun shaking like a leaf.
    • "Excuse me sister, but what's wrong with your passenger?"
    • "Oh, that's probably because we just got off Highway 205."
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well preserved piece, but to skid across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting “WOW, What a Ride!”
  5. A ten year-old boy was walking down the street when a big man on a black motorcycle, pulls up beside him and asks, "Hey kid, wanna go for a ride?" "No!", said the boy, and he kept on walking. The motorcyclist pulls up to him again and says, "Hey kid,, I'll give you $10 if you hop on the back" "NO!" said the boy and proceeded down the street a little quicker. The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, "Ok kid, I'll give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride." At this point the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, "Look Dad, YOU bought the Honda, so YOU ride it!!