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Jack Schitt

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Bravus, Mar 21, 2007.

  1. For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
    We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

    Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

    Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

    After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

    Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
    She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

    The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

    Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

    Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

    Crock O. Schitt


    Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!


    You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,
    and tell others to eat shit.


    Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference
    between shit and shineola.

    There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit,
    horse shit, and chicken shit.


    You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when
    the shit hits the fan.


    You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
    You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.


    Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some
    days are just plain shitty.

    Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times
    when you feel like shit.


    You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit
    or a lotta weird shit.


    You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek
    without a paddle.

    Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a
    bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.


    When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the
    English language.

    And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!
    You could pass this along, if you give a shit, or not do so if you don't give a shit!
    Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and
    hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit.

    But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head..


  3. good arguments lol
  4. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: What more is there to say?
  5. :grin: :grin: :grin: VERY NICE !!! my missus loved it!