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IT Industry

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by grange, May 17, 2010.

  1. When the Software industry had badly gone downhill, three software giants, Sun, SCO(UNIX), and Microsoft started producing condoms and named them Java-condom, CondomiX, and MS-Condoms Vista respectively.

    A customer using Java-condom complained to Sun that the condom didn't fit correctly.

    Sun replied: "Wait till we get the ISO standard."

    They boasted that it would fit any size irrespective of the underlying structure.

    Well, the customer switched to CondomiX and found that by the time he would finish reading the instructions given along with it, his wife would fall asleep, and he himself would forget why he was using CondomiX.

    Finally, he switched to MS-Condoms Vista.

    To his surprise it was so good..... and comfortable!

    He used it happily.

    Six months later, he found that his wife was pregnant.

    He got angry and complained to Microsoft.

    He got the following reply from Microsoft: A PATCH IS COMING SOON!
  2. I think you meant that MS-Condoms took forever to put on then provided so much friction that no matter how hard you thrusted it took all day for you to satisfy anyone.
  3. and that the ms condom actaully actually caused an increase in the level of infections.
  4. ms-condom.....the rythmic gyrations so inherent to the process gradually ground to a halt as the hardware became overburdened and impotent from the weight of the OS and all its background tasks.....:bannanabutt:
  5. The CondomiX is pretty pointless - why do you need a condom for UNIX. You wouldn't even need to worry too much about viruses either... :)
  6. You're right. SCO just made it so they can try and sue anyone who makes a similar product ;)
  7. ahh, but then IBM came to the party with OS/Doms. Marty the party boy found they were so thick they actually did the intended job but found no pleasure in it :grin:
  8. The linux condom:

    The user gets it, but does not like the colour, so chooses a different variant. Then when attempting to use has to modify it. Once modified rolls it on, but does not like that either so rolls it halfway off. The whole time it was never going to be used for anything useful, but the use likes it anyway.

    The Mac condom. Looks cool, but has a no tip. Cant be used for anything usefull. The latex has expired before its sold.
  9. I think the moral of this thread is to go bareback
  10. You forgot to mention the Mac condom - It works flawlessly and is comfortable and very aesthetically pleasing. Too bad 98% of the female population are allergic to them.
  11. Thats just the marketing part!
  12. or 4WD?
  13. Just an update of this???

  14. It doesn't explode. It just stops mid flight in the air for no apparent reason.