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Is this true?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by lil, Mar 4, 2005.

  1. 1. NAMES

    If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

    If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


    2. EATING OUT

    When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    3. MONEY

    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    4. BATHROOMS

    A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

    5. ARGUMENTS



    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    6. CATS

    Women love cats.

    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    7. FUTURE

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    8. SUCCESS

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    9. MARRIAGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

    10. DRESSING UP

    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    11. NATURAL

    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    12. OFFSPRING

    Ah, children.

    A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

    Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

    :D :D :D
     
  2. I would, but we hired a photographer. What would i do with the empty frames?
     
  3. LMFAO!!! :p That was a bloody crack up lil,nice one! :LOL: :LOL:
     
  4. The beauty of second hand stores...
     
  5. A married man is NEVER allowed to forget his mistakes!!!!!
     
  6. A real man admits when he's wrong; A real woman also admits when he's wrong.....;)
     
  7. :LOL: good stuff, every one of them is true. except maybe the cats, i dont pretend to like them. the rest will always be true as long as the human race exists :?
     
  8. I want my change
     
  9. this should read that a women will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but is on sale, even if it's worth only 10 cents.

    A man will walk away from something if it's too dear.

    A women will convince herself that it's the only way she can get one and she needs it
     
  10. Baahaha, I'm glad you got it right Jake. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :D
     

  11. Oh, how true :D
     
  12. Good one Lil :LOL:
    But thats what i like about guys....their simple and funny !!
     
  13. I love it :D
     
  14. None that I know of!! In fact, they have to have every different version of a thing just in case!!!

    :D :D :D
     
  15. think; clothes rather then tools or toys
     
  16. Isn't that where your bike pics are supposed to go?
     
  17. How can he ?
    when he been sentanced to life with the "portable GST" (spends all your wages PLUS 10% each fortnight ), and the mother-in-law is known and answers too "the domesticated death adder" and is registered as one of Australia most top ten deadlist creatures, you can NEVER forget ...............even if they dont live in the bloody same state!
     
  18. Bwahaha! ...

    Here we are getting ready - she wasn't comfortable in white so we chose black over a grey undercoat...
    This one is us together at the roadworthy...
    Here we are getting registered...
    Waving goodbye to the Vicroads inspector and...
    Off together for a long ride
     
  19. lmao funny stuff!!!
     
  20. oh how true :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :shock: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: