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Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by K8, Jul 10, 2006.

  1. The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one of the students was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well...

    Bonus question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote their proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul enters Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities":

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a faster rate than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct...leaving only Heaven - Thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!"

  2. Bs, but funny.
  3. :shock: you mean theres some stuff in the Jokes section that aren't Bs .
  4. well it is jokes and humor after all... but yeah i liked it :)
  5. That is gold my friend,
    best laugh all day.


  6. Its "the following is supposedly an actual question..." part that I commented on. As obvious as it may be to seasoned internet users I get emails all the time exclaiming how amazed they are by this sort of crap...
  7. I have always wanted to go skiing
  8. :rofl:

    cool reply
  9. Fairly sound reasoning as far as I can see :)
  10. Theologically unsound, but very, very funny :LOL:
  11. Depends on the theology you follow (if any) i guess.

    this probably wouldn't work quite so well in a polytheistic community or in a Bhudist type belief where there are different levels of existance and after lives...ie different levels of Hell. if one level freezes etc it would adversely effect those abouve and below it and these have not been taken into account....... oh dear i'm rambling again.
  12. You need a bike, Drew, you've got too much thinking time on your hands :LOL: :p
  13. :grin:
    Yes , I got your drift . All's good.
  14. and well done on your website . Really enjoyed looking through it.
  15. Thanks :)
  16. i'm working on it...... just got a nice payrise from work so that can only help :grin: September is looking good at current projections.