Albert Einstein: The chicken did not cross the road. The road passed beneath the chicken. Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross roads. Wolfgang Pauli: There was already a chicken on this side of the road. Carl Sagan: There are billions and billions of such chickens, crossing roads just like this one, all across the universe. [Apologies for perpetuating the misquote.] Jean-Dernard-Leon Foucault: What’s interesting is that if you wait a few hours, it will be crossing the road a few inches back that way. Robert Van de Graaf: Hey, doesn’t it look funny with all its feathers sticking up like that? Albert Michelson and Edward Morley: Our experiment was a failure. We could not detect the road. Ludwig Boltzmann: If you have enough chickens, it is a near certainty that one of them will cross the road. Johannes van der Waals: Some say it was a sixth sense that led the chicken to cross the road. I say it was a sixth power. David Hilbert: I was standing on the side of the road and a chicken came along, evidently in some kind of strange state. I informed it that it was nevertheless still in my space, so it went across the road. Blaise Pascal: The chicken felt pressure on this side of the road. However, when it arrived on the other side it still felt the same pressure. John David Jackson: You’ll find out after you complete this 37-page calculation. Henri Poincare: Let’s try changing the initial position of the chicken just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit, and….look, it’s now across the road! Enrico Fermi: In estimating to the nearest power of 10 the number of chickens that cross the road, note that since fractional chickens are not allowed, the desired power must be at least zero. Therefore, at least one chicken crosses the road. Werner Heisenberg: Because I made darn sure it was standing right next to me on this side.