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In Case Of Death

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Bravus, Dec 2, 2012.

  1. #1 Bravus, Dec 2, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    Here's the link: http://www.bravus.com/blog/?p=3171

    But I'll paste the text here as well for discussion here (if anyone's interested).

    I dearly hope not to die any time soon. The last 25 years with my beloved, and the subset of that with my fantastic daughters, has been very enjoyable and I’d like to enjoy a whole lot more life.

    But stuff happens. Having lost my mum at 51 to leukemia and my brother at 25 to an accident, I know this perhaps better than most people.

    So, in the event of death, these are my instructions:
    1. First, I want to donate as many as possible of my organs and bits and pieces to people who need them. They say on average an organ donor can save three lives. Can’t guarantee my liver is in pristine condition, but if it or my kidneys, heart, lungs, corneas, limbs or anything else can help others, that’s absolutely what they should do.
    2. I’d like to be cremated rather than buried, partly to save on money (on which more in a moment) and land, partly because although I know I won’t be there for it, I don’t like to imagine decomposing in a box. The flames are clean…
    3. Don’t go expensive with memorials or burial… It’s a tough one, because we like to give those we’ve lost the best, and it’s a very vulnerable time, but burning or burying a silk-lined oak casket with turned brass fittings means nothing to me… and that money may as well benefit the living.
    4. I obviously can’t dictate your grieving – the heart has its own ways – but while grieving the loss I hope you’ll all celebrate the life. It’s been a celebration, one on which you have all blessed me, and I regret nothing.
    5. I’d love this song to be played at any memorial service. It’s called ‘And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness’ by Agalloch. I often come across as ‘metal guy’, though my tastes are really a lot more eclectic than that, but I also don’t want to play something that would have me wincing and waiting until it was over if I was there. And I want something that won’t have that effect on attendees, either! This song is by one of my favourite metal bands, but is not a metal song. It seems to mix beauty and sadness in about the right proportions for the purpose.
    6. This is a tougher one, since Sue, Cassie and Alex (and me) are at different places in relation to religion. My view wouldn’t matter anyway, but I’d hope a solution could be found that is as good as possible for all of them. Any memorial service should be about me and them as much as possible: I’ve no objection to God getting a mention, or even the promise of a resurrection, but for the sake of my family and friends, God should not be the centre of attention…
    7. Almost repeating myself, but the point is crucial – my life is amazing, and amazingly blessed, and it’s the people in it who make it that way. I hope it goes on for a long, long time, and want to be with all of you for as long as possible. I also want to remember to tell you that I love you and appreciate you, as often as possible. Because stuff happens.
  2. I'd go along with almost all of that, but for the music at memorial service, or burning....

    For me, I'd like "Won't be fooled again" by the Who.
  3. All I want is my Internet history deleted and a tape of screaming and thumping played as the box gets burnt.
  4. Are you the only family member who is a 7th Day Adventist?

  5. Well deduced, but it's my wife who's the member. We all used to be but the kids and I have drifted elsewhere in our lives...
  6. I've been reading your blog with interest ;)

  7. One of my closest and life long friends died two xmas's ago.
    We did this talk.
    Pretty much the same. I want to be burnt...preferably in the aboriginal way, and my ashes scatter in the bush...doesn't matter where. Ma nature is pretty much my god and she is everywhere, and you can see, feel and touch her...makes it easy for simpletons like me.
    Lastly my funeral was to a celebration of my life....only happy tears and rock and roll. Hopefully a few mates I jam with will find a paddock and jam the weekend away.
    And I hope it's one of the best weekends of their lives