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I'm about to lose a friend

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' at netrider.net.au started by doonx, Feb 3, 2006.

  1. :( :( :(

    A lovely, wonderful lady named Cathy I used to work with in Sydney is about to pass away, from Breast Cancer, she's not yet 50 years young. This is one of those situations where it just doesn't seem fair, she simply doesn't deserve this (I mean who does ?). Never have I seen anyone smile and laugh as much as Cathy does, she always lit up the room.

    She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer about a year or so ago, had some treatment, but they decided it was far better for her to have a double mastectomy, which she did. This seemed to go well, she and her specialist were confident that the operation was a success and she had excellent chances of a full recovery. This obviously wasn't the case. When she got the further news that the Cancer was still in her system and active, she took counsel, but decided not to proceed with further treatment. This decision I simply don't understand, but I respect that it was her decision, and she made it from an informed point of view.

    She is now in Camden Private Hospital Pallitive Care Unit, she is medicated but I am told she's comfortable. Her family and loved ones are around her. This is a sad time for all concerned.

    I will never forget all the wonderful, happy, fun times we had, the times we laughed and partied and enjoyed life to it's full :)

    Cathy, you are a wonderful person, your spirit and life will live on in the lives of all you touched. God Bless.

  2. I guess at least you have a chance to tell her how you feel... Best wishes mate, that must be hard.
  3. I know how you feel. A friend of my wife and I died on Monday, aged 34, after losing her battle with a "benign" brain cancer tumor. She was diagnosed with it about 15 months ago after suddenly vomiting uncontrollably at work. Her callous manager wouldn't even call an ambulance or even a taxi to get her home. Wonder how he feels now that she was suffering from a brain tumor and correspondingly died from it.

    Wife went to her funeral today. Today was the poor lass's 35th birthday.

    Just wrong that something like this should happen to people so young, and to be buried on the day of their 35th birthday too.

    RIP Carmel Gatt.

    My thoughts are with you Doonks. It's never easy. Just keep her in your heart and remember her for the good things she's done in her life. That's the best way. Be sure to let her know she's loved before she passes, in whatever way you can.
  4. not good to hear at all.

    My auntie died from Breast cancer (Cancer kinda runs in my family.... someone in the last 3 generations has got/had it)

    It's always hard for both sides. One has to watch loved ones hurt because they care so much. The other has to watch a loved on slip away.

    Ive seen and been on both sides of the fence.

    There's not a lot you can say other than to let the person know that you care. This alone will let them know they are not alone, But it is never easy.

    Best wishes.

  5. sounds like she's surrounded by love, will be peaceful and happy in her final days and will go on to an even more fabulous and full life next time round :)

    wishing you well in your grief ... may it be a true, exquisite, pure sadness that let's you know you're fully alive, you're human and you care.

    all the best, carri x
  6. I am so very sorry :( It isn't fair!!!
  7. I'm sorry to hear about your friend Cathy. This will be a very hard time for you.

    I lost my eldest son to cancer three years ago (this month) and know some of the feelings you have about treatment. To have or not to have, what type and whether the side effects are worth it. It is a total bummer!

    Try to think of each and every good time you have had and these thoughts sometimes help.

    Hang in there and our thoughts are with you.
  8. It's strange, here I am saying that "I'm" about to lose a friend, when in fact what I'm losing is infinitesimal when compared to her and her family.

    And again, is infinitesimal to your loss justkroozin'. I have 2 young kids myself (12 and nearly 10), and I cannot begin to imagine what hell it must have been for you. I feel a little selfish at this thread now, I'm sure you all know what I mean.
  9. At least you've had a chance to honour this lady as she obviously deserves, Pete. For that, well done!
  10. I too am sorry to hear the news about your friend, like you said hopefully her final days are peaceful.
  11. Times like these are very emotional. My thoughts are with you, your friend and all who hold her near and dear. :(
  12. Hey, don't feel sorry for caring so much for a very good friend!

    My son had just turned 19 and had been ill for 5 years when he passed away and he is the main reason I went ahead and finally got my bike licence. Brain tumours suck!

    Cathy will always be in your heart and I know you will smile when you think of her.

    Take care.
  13. Doonks, I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

    Its an all too disgusting common story these days though.

    My best friend lost her husband to cancer a few years ago at the age of 38. Left behind an 11 year old son too.

    A workmate just lost his 55 yo Dad two weeks ago.

    There's a God you reckon? Well, he's all yours.

    I understand the decision not to go ahead with further treatment. Its traumatic for the victim as well as all of those in the direct vicinity, and the chances for survival are never 100%. I'm sure I would decide that it wasn't worth the trauma either if it was me.
  14. Bit hard on yourself Doonks... everyones grief is different and felt in a personal way. Greif is greif. You feel it your you don't. I don't think its realy quantifiable.

    She ovbiously touched your life and you are the better for it. Others will feel things differently. All feelings ar valid in this sort of thing.

    on a separate note... just in this thread i count 8 references to individuals touched by the bloody disease....it is indiscriminate and cruel....... Did you know that when i was diagnosed (in 1987) there was NO Victorian funding for Cancer research..(it was diverted elsewhere but thats another story)....makes you think a bit how much more we might know if this hadn't happened?
  15. sorry if I seem to be taking over a bit. i get a touch emotional on this topic of conversation.
  16. Carri has captured my sentiments perfectly.

    Thanks Carri.

    Supportive thoughts to all that need them.
  17. Mate that sucks!. But all you can do (i guess) is make sure you never forget, and never be too down to mention her name if it comes to mind - too many folks i have known to go and everyone else will never mention thier name or cringe when you talk about them - all anybody wants is to not be forgotton...
  18. Yes it neva a happy situation.

    My mums cancer was in remission for 11 yrs before it came back.

    3mths after it came back, one morning Ambulance came home &
    took her to hospital.

    I visited her the same evening... 7 days later she was dead.

    I got the hospital to bring her home 2 days prior so she could
    pass away at home. Thats what she wanted.

    She was 60.

    3yrs later we still havent buried her. Shes in my brothers lounge rm.
    one day we'll put her in the backyard & plant a rose on top of her.

    She luved her flowers :)

    We all have to depart at some point. Just make sure you dont take
    your time & the time you spend with others for granted :wink:

    Once their gone, its 2 late..
  19. so sorry to hear, my grandpa or "otherpa" as my brother and i called him died of cancer but as you can see we havent forgotten him. remember the good times
  20. Sorry Doonks, I opened this up thinking it was going to be a funny thread about you finally selling your baby "Z" and buying a bigger bike, and then I read about your friend Cathy's battle with cancer.

    The one good thing about friends is that you always keep a little bit of them with you .. and you can look back and laugh and cry and remember the times you had together.....