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I saw the look of terror

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by 2wheelsagain, Oct 18, 2008.

  1. 3.00pm Sat 18/10/08

    I remember saying "you've done what?" Because it took a while to sink in. But halfway down the passage and half kitted up, I worked out what she said. "Honey, I've dropped your bike", was now ringing loudly in my head.
    Out to the garage I charge to see my Bandit laying on its left hand side across the garage. I'm thinking how the fkuc did this happen? After hoicking the bike upright again (they're not that heavy when the adrenalin is flowing) I ask in the calmest voice I could manage "how did this happen?"

    Mrs 2wheelsagain had wheeled her ZZR out of the garage and unbeknown to me decided to do the same with the Bandit as a nice thing to do because we currently dont live at the same address and for reasons she cant explain has wheeled it across the garage with the handlebar lock still engaged so when it comes time to turn the bars the other way to back up a bit she cant and takes one hand off the bars to work the lock and she looses it. Why she didn't release the lock before pushing I'll never know.

    Bike Damage;
    Front LH indicator punched through the fairing (now fixed)
    Scratched through the clear and into the alloy LH engine cover
    Warped screen and top fairing (should reform back into shape)
    Scratched bar weight

    Mrs 2wheelsagain Damage;
    Pulled hamstring
    Guilt of 1000 guilty people
    Is still "away"

    My message to all who will listen is;
    No matter how well you know someone if you didn't ask, don't move their bloody bike
    Release steering lock first
    Sometimes good deeds turn bad.
    A dropped bike really spoils a ride no matter how sunny it is
    No matter how much time you put into maintenance someone else can spoil your work

  2. You didn't fair too badly at all. A bit of paint on the cover and bar end and it will be good as new. If the screen doesn't go back into shape it could be a good excuse for that double bubble screen you've been wanting ;)
  3. Get rid of her. Plenty more dogs in the pound.
  4. You're still alive and so is she (I presume).

    Why are you whingeing over a bit of scraped metal and plastic?

    People take a lot longer to heal. Mentally and physically.

    Reflect on what is more important in your life. Your inanimate bike that has no compassion or ability to love or your partner.
  5. :shock: :LOL:

    Cmon, it's just a bike. And a bandit at that! ;)
  6. Unless you rig up a contraption like the one below, make up with your missus.

    I highly doubt she intended to damage your bike. Life's too short.


    The best way to have sex with a car, however, is not raw.  You
    need the following equipment:
    1 Dekhyr Dragon Industries (Teledildonics Division) Sexual Interface Unit.
    	If you don't have one, you can get one through me (Dekhyr,
    [email]xdraco@panix.com[/email])  or you can attempt to build one yourself.  The SIU is
    essentially a tube made of foam rubber, rolled such that the inner diameter
    is slightly smaller than the diameter of your erect penis.  When lubricated,
    it acts as a sexual interface to whatever you attach it to.  In this case,
    it is inserted into the tailpipe of the car you want to have sex with.
    	To build one, you will need black electrical tape, a 'Koozie',
    a can of soda, and a hefty pair of scissors.  A 'Koozie' is a foam rubber
    dingumbob in which you put a soda.  It keeps the soda cold and your hand
    warm.  Being a 'give-away' item, you usually can't find it anywhere.  I've
    had reports of finding them in liquor stores.  I've actually found a good
    deal of them at a local discount-type store.
    	There are two kinds, thick walled and thin walled.  I've only been
    able to find the thick kind; the thin kind I've only been able to get
    through an advertising company.  The thin kind is particularly good with
    tailpipes not much bigger than your cock.
    	Here is what you need to do:
    1. Measure the circumference of your erect penis.  This is most easily done
       by wrapping a string around your cock (around the shaft, not the head).
    2. Take the bottom of the Koozie out.  You should be left with a tube.
    3. Cut the wall of the tube from top to bottom so that you are left with
       a slab of foam rubber which refuses to stay straight.
                              |      |     |
                              |      |     |
                              |      |     |
                              |   cut^     |
                              |      |     |
                              |      |     |
    4. Now, carefully cut away material parallel to the first cut until you
       can put the ends together making a smaller tube, and such that the inner
       circumference of the tube is slightly smaller (say, by 1/2" or so) than
       the circumference of your shaft.
    5. Take a piece of electrical tape.  Hold the ends of the tube flush.
       Place the tape on the cut on the outside to secure the tube in the
       middle.  Now repeat with more tape until the cut is secure.  Wrap tape
       around the whole thing.
    6. Drink the soda.  With the scissors, CAREFULLY cut off the top and bottom
       of the aluminum can.  CAREFULLY cut a strip of aluminum lengthwise from 
       the can, about 3/4" to 1" wide.
    7. Coat the strip with electrical tape.  This is to prevent the edges from
    8. Attach the strip to the tube at one end:
     attach here only
                   V   ============  <- strip (curled upward a bit)
                ^                            \
               / \                           |
               | |                           |
               | |                           |
               | |                           |
               \ /                           |
                V                            /
    9. 'Test drive' it!  Lube it up with KY (try not to use oil-based
       lubricant; you may want to use it with more than one person, and then
       you'll be using a condom).
    	Now, stuff the SIU up the tailpipe and lube well.
    	You now have several options for fcuking your car.  One major one
    is from behind.  If the car is automatic shift, then put the car in Park 
    and remove the emergency brake. This will enable the car to rock back and 
    forth to your thrusts.  If the car is manual transmission, chock the wheels 
    well, remove the emergency brake, and put the car into gear -- the higher
    the gear, the more play the car has.  This will also enable the car to 
    rock. Kneel behind the car.  Now thrust in.  
    	You may not have any trouble with heavier manual transaxled cars,
    since you may not have to chock the wheels -- the weight of the car will
    prevent the engine from 'topping out' and moving the car away.  Lighter
    manual transaxled cars are more likely to be topped out by your thrusts,
    so chocking is necessary.  In general, the lower the gear, the less
    play, but the more difficult it is to top the engine out.
    	Another major method is to lie down under the car, your upper body
    under the car, and thrust into the car.  It is difficult, though, to make
    the car rock unless you push on the closest rear tire.
    	I've also had some success leaning on my side and fcuking the car
    	More than one person can fcuk a car if it has more than one
    tailpipe on opposite sides of the car.  This will also make the car rock
    faster and harder since the energy of two people will add.
    	NEVER fcuk a car with the engine on.  Firstly, you will be breathing
    hard, and that means you can poison yourself faster.  Secondly, the car
    will either stall (because there's something blocking the tailpipe, heh)
    -- causing damage to the engine -- or will force the exhaust out.  And
    you have an idea where the exhaust will go, I trust.  Ouch!  Fatality City!
    	If you do not use a condom and you come inside the car, ten or
    fifteen minutes of driving will kill off anything inside.  So you do not
    have to worry about STDs from that.  What you will have to worry about,
    though, is the SIU itself.  It is not being sterilized.  Therefore, if you
    use an SIU you think is going to be used by someone else, use a condom, 
    and use KY jelly or some other water-based lubricant.  Remember -- oil
    rots condoms, and so will an oil-based lubricant.
  7. I have one word for you Mr 2 wheels. Sook.
  8. Did you stop to think how your misses is feeling? She probably feeling worse than you right now. What is done is done, get over it.
  9. She's feeling that way because 2WA's bike is meticulously looked after. It still looks like new... well did...
  10. Thanks for the varied replies peeps.
    Mrs 2wheelsagain is still alive well. Saw her this morning and went for a short blast.
    :LOL: @ MVrog & Loz (expected more pain from you Loz)
    :LOL: :LOL: @ Nakkas
    :jerk: @ NoShowAllGo (your username says it all)
    :wink: Robsalv Thanks. Still looks almost new

    The moral of the story and the intent of the post still stands...................
  11. Perhaps I should clarify my statement. In most peoples cases, the motorcycle is a tool. Not the rider. However, in your case, I think you might be confused. That is all :)
  12. Hey Chris

    Funny how our lives are ucannily aligned.

    My ex missus dropped her GSX650 (just wheeling around) and busted the rhf indicator. Isn't that the most whore of a part to to fit!! Gotta get it right or she pops out (indicator, not mrs).

    Know the feeling big fella, treat it like gold and it gets tarnished like scrap. Hate it.

    Will catch up with ya soon.
  13. dare i say this for more entertaining discussion...????

    so the moral of the story is...(insert your moral here)...?
  14. the moral is men need to learn to deal with CONFUSING scenarios where for once they are on the giving-side of a guilt trip. forgive her after a bike wash and a bj.

  15. but, i only crash her because i love her!