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I believe its time for xmas jokes(warning: very punny)

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by es, Dec 6, 2005.

  1. This guy goes into his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his mouth.

    After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, “Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?”

    “Well... the only thing I can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it... Hollandaise sauce she called it... and Doctor, I'm talkin' DELICIOUS! I've never tasted anything like it, and ever since then I've been putting it on everything... meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!”

    “That's probably it,” replied the dentist “Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as thought I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time.”

    “Why chrome?' the man asked.

    “Well, everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!”
  2. That's silly Eswen :(

    If somebody told you that one... try not to talk to them again :D

    If you got it via e-mail... sign up that person to as many p0rn sites as you can ;)

  3. I LIKE that one eswen, one of your better efforts, as you know, I'm partial to the odd pun myself...... :D
  4. I'm sure this old chestnut has had a gallop before, but since I joined in March, and it's nearly Christmas, what the hey......

    A man and his wife were sitting at the kitchen table, which was next to the window. The man's name was Rudolph, and since he was Russian, people used to call him "Rudolph the Red."

    Rudolph looked out the window and said to his wife, "Oh look honey, it's raining outside." She looked out as well and said, "No, I think that is snow."

    He looked at her and said, "Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
  5. *groan*

    oh no i was hoping to escape these type of Christmas jokes......

    the funnist thing about them is that some peoploe actually laugh...... no accounting for some peoples sense of humour is there :)
  6. Better version

    Better???? :LOL: anyhow

    A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

    "I think it's raining" he said to his wife.

    "No, that felt more like snow to me" she replied.

    "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.

    Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then, they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them.

    "Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Alfred whether it's officially raining or snowing."

    As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Alf, is it officially raining or snowing?"

    "IT'S FREAKIN' RAINING, OF COURSE YOU STUPID IDIOTS!!" he screamed, and walked on.

    But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow! Why should we believe what he says?"

    The man quietly replied: "Rude Alf, the Red, knows rain, dear!"