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Hump Day Funny - New Australian Citizenship Test

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by pvda, Dec 7, 2005.

  1. New anti-terrorism laws: Aussie Citizenship Test

    Is the traditional Aussie Christmas dinner:
    a) At least two roasted meats with roast vegetables, followed by a pudding you could use as a cannonball. Also ham. In 40C heat.
    b) A seafood buffet followed by a barbie, with rather a lot of booze.
    and ham. In 40C heat.
    c) Both of the above, one at lunchtime and one at dinnertime. Weather continues fine.

    How many slabs can you fit in the back of a Holden Ute while also allowing room for your cattle dog?

    When packing an Esky do you put the ice, or the beer, in first?

    How many beers in a slab?

    Does "yeah-nah" mean "Yes and no" or "Maybe" or "Yes I understand but No I don't agree"?

    The phrases "strewth" and "flamin' dingo" can be attributed to which TV character?
    a) Toadie from Neighbours
    b) Alf from Home & Away
    c) Agro from Agro's Cartoon Connection
    d) Sgt. Tom Croydon from Blue Heelers?

    When cooking a barbecue do you turn the sausages

    a) Once or twice
    b) As often as necessary to cook
    c) After each stubby
    d) Until charcoal?

    Name three of the Daddo brothers.

    Who was the original lead singer of AC/DC?

    Which option describes your ideal summer afternoon:
    a) Drinking beer a mate's place
    b) Drinking beer at the beach
    c) Drinking beer watching the cricket/footy
    d) Drinking beer at a mate's place while watching the cricket before going to the beach?

    Would you eat pineapple on pizza?
    Would you eat egg on a pizza?

    How many cans of beer did David Boon consume on a plane trip from Australia to England?

    How many stubbies is it from Brissy to the Gold Coast in a Torana travelling at 120km/h?

    Who are Scott and Charlene?

    How do you apply your tomato sauce to a pie?
    a) Squirt and spread with finger
    b) Sauce injection straight into the middle?

    If the police raided your home would you:
    a) Allow them to rummage through your personal items
    b) Phone up the nearest talkback radio shock jock and complain
    c) Put a written complaint in to John Howard and hope that he answers it personally?

    Which Australian Prime Minister held the world record for drinking a yardie full of beer the fastest?

    Have you ever had/do you have a mullet?

    Thongs are:
    a) Skimpy underwear
    b) Casual footwear
    c) They're called jandals, bro?

    On which Ashes tour did Warney's hair look the best? 1993, 1997, 2001 or 2005?

    What someone is more likely to die of.
    1) Red Back Spider
    2) Great White Shark
    3) Victorian Police Officer
    4) King Brown Snake
    5) Your missus after a big night
    6) Dropbear?

    How many times must a steak be turned on a conventional four-burner barbie?

    Can you sing along to Cold Chisel's Khe Sahn?

    Explain both the "follow-on" and "LBW" rules in cricket and discuss the pros and cons for the third umpire decisions in the latter....

    Name at least 5 items that must be taken to a BBQ.

    Who is current Australian test cricket captain:
    a) Ricky Ponting
    b) Don Bradman
    c) John Howard
    d) Makybe Diva?

    Is it best to take a sick day on:
    a) When the cricket's on
    b) When the cricket's on
    c) When the cricket's on?

    What animal is on the Bundaberg Rum bottle?

    What is the difference between a pot and a middy of beer?

    What are Budgie smugglers?

    Did you cry when Molly died on a Country Practice?

    A "Hoppoate" is:
    a) A breed of kangaroo
    b) A kind of Australian "wedgie"
    c) A disgraced Rugby League player?

    What does having a 'chunder' mean?

    When you were young did you prefer the Hills Hoist over any swing set?

    What do the following terms mean:
    a) Mate?
    b) Maate
    c) Maaaaaaate?

    Best Aussie name is what?
    a) Cheryl
    b) Charlene
    c) Bazza
    d) Thommo
    e) Shazza

    What does the terminology 'True Blue' mean?

    A "mechanic" is:
    a)A service provider
    b)An imbecile
    c)A thief
    e)Both b and c?
  2. 'having a chunder',:D
    oh Bazza, where are you now??
    Good stuff Paul, I was struggling with a couple of them myself and my family's been here since 1802 :LOL: