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Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by Chairman, Mar 16, 2006.

  1. I imagine that everyone's aware that a number of brave souls put up their hands to become moderators.

    Power is a fiercely addictive. One you have it, it is impossible to give it away. Only noble creatures, such as elves, can be trusted with moderators powers. Had I taken on the job of moderating, I'd have killed Mouth for the root password and retired to the sewers of Southbank, where, goggle eyed and pale, I'd eat raw fish and spend my time muttering "my preciousssssss".

    So, ye novice mods, I salute you, each and every one. Upholding the civil discourse and enforcing the T&Cs is a thankless task and I'm glad I didn't succumb to the urge.

    I have noticed, however, that the quality of jokes on Netrider has gone all to sh1t. This may have to do with the departure of some correspondents (though others reminded me of the worst of "Different Strokes" - watchoo talkin'bout Willis? - and I can't say I miss that much) or maybe everyone is getting WAY TOO SERIOUS.

    So I've taken it upon myself to become a Humourator. This is like a moderator, but I can't ban anyone, issue warnings, move posts or edit. I can, however, critique your jokes and LISTEN UP the standard better bloody well improve.

    I will endeavor to keep abreast (note - boob joke, you get 1 "Benny Hill" point for that) of the threads, but please don't make it hard for me (oooh..another BH!) by sticking it in the wrong place (I see a BH personal best coming...).

    Anyone who wants to also appoint themselves as a Humourator is welcome to join in. A sense of humour might be advantageous.

    Feel free to PM me with a link if you see a "best practice" example of Netrider humour, or something that needs constructive criticism.
  2. Can we make Mark a "Super moderator" too? But we have to enforce the wearing of underwear outside the pants and the cape wouldn't be optional either.

    Having said that I don't know if he'd want to do the hard-yards, and being a "super-moderator" would be a mouthful as well.
  3. Dude, I think you'll do a great job!!

    I personally will do my utmost to ensure the quality AND quantity of the jokes on this site improves.

    Just to prove my commitment, here's a truly horrible joke to get us started:

    There was a teen couple who decided to have sex. So they decided to go to the boyfriend's house. Noone was there except his little brother sleeping on the bottom bunk of their bed which they share together. The couple went on the top bunk and the boyfriend said, "If you want it harder, say lettuce, if you want it softer, say tomato"

    They started to do their thing and the girlfriend started moaning, "Lettuce! lettuce! lettuce!...(moaning)...Tomato! tomato!...(more moaning)"

    Suddenly the little brother of the boyfriend woke up and said, "Hey! stop making sandwiches up there! I'm getting mayonnaise on my face!"
  4. Pfft. Already done. I have "Superman Draggins" with the kevlar crotch. Not in the catalogue, but if you ask for them and wink, they'll measure you up. Saves wear and tear when you fill the tank whilst astride the bike, set your tackle alight and then have to beat it out with the helmet you should have taken off before filling.
  5. hahahaha :rofl:
  6. Pete, I love it when I meet someone who has so much potential. That joke shows that, with practice, you can only get better. Keep up the good work.

    Remember, though, Jokes belong in the Jokes and Humour section. Being a Humourator is no laughing matter, which is why I put it into General Discussion. But your excellent opening sidesplitter needs to be put in the right forum.
  7. How do you set your crotch alight, then beat the flames out with a helmet you're still wearing? Do you need to get rid of a couple of ribs first?
  8. Ok I've submitted some humour that caught my eye this morning.

    In the Jokes section of course!
  9. Joke from moi also in the Jokes section.

    Mark, I guess we'll just have to humour you with this self-appointed task.....
  10. umm did you miss this part??

  11. That would imply that super pants was still wearing the helmet, but regretting due to the flaming petrol making his crotch taste like burning.
  12. Now, see where this is leading? Too much seriousness and we're into the agonies of post-modern deconstruction. Stop it and go back being funny. You both lose a BH point.

    I can feel the power surging...

    One joke to rule them all,
    One joke to find them,
    One joke to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
  13. Gauche.

    Remove a BH point from yourself for that one.
  14. I'd like to welcome Fixed to the ranks of Humourators, and compliment him on his public-mindedness. This is no easy task and he's dived in with aplomb. In his opening salvo he swiped a BH point from me - a priveleged reserved for Humourators - so he now joins the team as a fellow humour coach.

    I'm knocking off for the day, so feel free to PM any humour to Fixed for comment.
  15. I would be proud to put my hand up (but up what?) to become a humourator. I agree with Mark's plea that the bar can and should be raised (hee!) for the good of the stomach ulcers of so many members and mods.

    Besides, if there's Benny Hill points involved, I feel I should be a part of it.

    As for this:
    You didn't succumb? I dunno Mark, rumour has it...
  16. BONUS ROUND!!!!! 5BHs for LOZ! Succumb... arggg, you're killing me.
  17. You fight dirty.