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How to tell a guy it's over!!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Guest, Aug 24, 2005.

  1. Dear ________,

    I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
    contention as Mr Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was
    exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as
    yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your
    name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find
    better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to
    offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the
    competition. Check those that apply

    * Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
    hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

    * Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can
    picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

    * The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a
    little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!

    * You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about
    yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

    * Your constant e-mailing shows me you have TOO much time on your

    * Your legs are skinnier than mine.

    * You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten
    up repeatedly at recess.

    * I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

    * The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

    * You still live with your parents.

    * Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Alien
    uniforms a little disconcerting.

    * Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect
    that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

    * Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking
    in a long-term partner.

    * Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should
    however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please
    resubmit your application.

    * I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.

  2. Ok I won't ask you out then!
  3. don't worry smee, it's not addressed to you (YET) :p
  4. Is there an option for snoring?? :LOL:
  5. Lids, how could you hurt me, hurt US, in this way. I thought you loved me !!!

    :cry: :cry: :cry:
  6. :eek: :LOL: :LOL:
  7. I would have thought a simple "DROP DEAD" would have taken a whole lot less effort!! Funny stuff!
  8. Hang on a minute mate, hang on a minute, what kind of "opening" are we talkin' here exactly???? :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    Shame on you Lids!!!! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  9. Now what women in their right mind wouldn't want to be called Mrs Foxy :?: :?: 8) 8) 8)
  10. Cute stuff
    Now, some clever Netrider make up one for how a guy can tell a GIRL it's over...
  11. One of the girls at work and I have tears streaming down our faces from laughing :LOL:
    Printed our 4 copies for the other single gals to keep on file ;)
  12. ROFL.

    At least Lids, or at the least, the originator of this form letter, took the time to put it together and mail it out.

    A mate, who's newly single, had a bird SMS him to dump him. How pathetic is that?
  13. One of the girls who works for me has forwarded it on to a guy she knows and is afraid he is going to take it the wrong way due to the height references in it. To this I just laughed a lot.

  14. Easy peasy.
    "you're dropped biatch"
  15. Does that mean that we are thru Lids??

  16. You're a classy guy, smee!!!

    :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
  17. Does that mean what I think, so the focus was kissing and not the lower stuff...you must be hanging at the bit Lids. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  18. Even easier, stop replying to their 50 million sms' they send a day :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  19. What, do fella's get dumped? I have never been dumped in my life except in the 4th grade when her family moved away. I have always dumped them. Its easy really just give them a few reasons.

    "Dammit woman you are just like my Mum nag nag nag and I know what your mum looks like and I don't want to have to see you go through that later in my life"
  20. :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

    Way to go Rascus!!! Yeah!!! Neanderthals of the world unite!!! :LOL: