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How far can you travel on 2.5 dead cats?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by incitatus, Oct 10, 2005.

  1. its a good thing i dont like cats,
    wonder if the Exact recipe is somewhere on this huge WWW...
  2. So...how many meows to the gallon?
  3. :LOL: Or convert to the metric "kitties per litre"
  4. You can travel just over 2 metres on 2.5 dead cats IF you lay them end to end. If you lay them side by side, this drops to a paltry 75 cm.

    Of course, you'll get more distance if you repeat the procedure as they get longer and wider each time.

    And the correct unit is a kitty/litter.
  5. I'll give it to Chairman.....by a whisker. I assume a cat-alytic converter is required?, and the dreaded high-side will have its claws pulled, as running on this stuff, the bike will always land on it's tyres.
  6. I can only forsee one problem with this method; any mishap will undoubtedly turn into a cat-astrophe! :LOL:
  7. Warning:
    Usage of kitty diesel may result in increased likelyhood of your bike
    * chasing mice. If your bike is persistantly chasing mice, fit a bell to your triple clamp.
    * getting stuck up trees, and needing rescuing by firemen.
    * running away from dogs (esp bad for posties)
    * rolling over and clawing your legs when you mount your bike
    * coughing up fur balls. Fitting freer flowing mufflers may assist with the passage of fur balls.

    However, your bike fuel system will now be self cleaning.

    If you are running kitty diesel, under no circumstances should you remove your mirrors. Failure to observe this will result in a reluctance by your bike to travel under bridges, or lanesplit.
  8. Thanks Matt for cat-apulting that story out the window! Was enjoying the thread :p
    Reckon there's also something Fowl about the other one too.... :roll:
  9. We can drag this out a bit further can't we?

    I reckon the engine would just "purrr" on cat diesel.

    If you ran a bike on Chicken sourced fuel, would a bike running cat diesel (a tiger in the tank??) start to chase the chicken powered bike?

    would that make it a "chook chaser"?

    personally I'd rather do burnouts on the cats head, but hey, might as well be useful for something, you could use the skins as a tank or helmet protector, with matching saddle bags.

    (I dislike cats)
  10. Solent Green makes a nice fuel as well - tastes good too.....
  11. Soylent green is people!
    The scoops are coming......
  12. Of course this'll also raise the question of whether bikes should only be run on Persian or Optimanx.
  13. Quote: "I've never used cats and would never think of that. At most the odd toad may have jumped in."............So, cats out, toads in.......

    Or maybe not?.......Quote: "The Web site of Koch's firm, Alphakat GmbH"......AlphaKAT.gmbh?.....hmmmmm
  14. Could be the solution to the Cane Toad Problem then.

  15. Yeah...Sugar cane ethanol, and cane toad diesel! Move over OPEC, the banana benders are a comin!!
  16. Update - inventor of 'kitty diesel' shot dead


    "Dr Christian Koch, 55, from Kleinhartmannsdorf Germany, inventor of a controversial form of diesel fuel, made from among other things the cadavers of cats, was found shot dead in his home this morning. Police have released security video footage which they believe could lead to an early arrest."


    apologies for the outright theft of the content
  17. He did actually come out a couple of weeks ago and categorically deny that any dead cats were used in the manufacture of his diesel...

    Oh well, I guess animal rights protestors don't read the paper properly...