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How do i deal with this situation?

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by 2216, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. I haven't been riding for long (6 months) and my car has died (fkn 3 years old, bought it brand new.. fml) and I'm now riding my bike to work while it's being fixed.

    Unfortunately, my mum isn't dealing with the idea of me riding an hour each way everyday, through the city aswell and bursts into tears whenever I leave for work.

    Instinctively it annoys me because I know it's not that dangerous at all (based on experiences) but she seems to think I'm going to die every time I leave the house and won't listen to my reasoning.

    Has anyone dealt with something similar? how did you deal with it?
  2. Move out of home?
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  3. She had cancer yada yada cant afford to support herself etc
  4. Tell your mum your a big boy and you wipe your own ass so you'll be fine
  5. So that rules out that option.
    How about a sensible discussion about the current motorcycle road toll and how a significant proportion of the deaths were unlicensed riders, often on stolen or unregistered motorcycles, ie. non-riders.
    Explain that you are a licensed rider with a safe and sensible approach to your riding and that you wear appropriate safety gear and maintain your bike in good condition.
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  6. I've used this argument before but didn't include the fact that most were unlicensed riders... thanks, i'll try that one.

    So frustrating!
  7. A calm and methodical approach is the best one. As above, explain the situation and hope all works out for you.

    All the best. :D
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  8. The health issue is far from good, there is plenty of support systems for anyone going through this. You pay your taxes so take full advantage. Re the tears, that's the last port of call when women want to make something happen.Its a game winner in a lot of cases. You need to just walk away. To me its similar to a bloke hitting physically. That sounds horrible but that's what I think.Both of these actions are low blows BTW lots of women love a good cry,seems its a good release of tension. Been told that my those that do.As I said I expect this makes me a neandathol but thats been my expeiace.
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  9. 22162216 maybe you could do some rider training, that may give her some comfort and you some additional skills. given your mum's health it's understandable that she feels the way she does. sorry to hear her health is not good.
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  10. Leave before she wakes up, or wear your darkest visor do you can't see the tears.

    I understand your mums feelings on it, but, you have got to go to work. Tell her that the morning scene effects your mood and therefore judgement making what she fears much more likely.

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  11. I've had to deal with irrational anxiety from family members at times (don't get me wrong - anxiety is a very real and significant issue for many people, and I respect that, but you shouldn't have be enslaved by it).
    In these circumstances, you owe it to the sufferer to take reasonable precautions, but that probably won't be enough. I certainly wasn't above a little bit of deception to ease the mind of the worrier. Actually I'd call it 'incomplete information' rather than actual lying, because getting caught out could make things worse.
    But not having the 'problem' in front of their faces all the time can make things a bit easier for all.
  12. This has worked for me so far, but i guess it was a more than a little bit of deception.. e.g if I was going to my girlfriends house (30 mins away) I'd say I was going around the block to a friends house for peace of mind. Its just unavoidable now because I work full time in the same location, I leave the house on schedule.
  13. I never had that because both Mum and Dad road motorcycles. But like most things, everyone in time will get use to a situation. In this case after awhile she will see the tears aren't making a difference. As long as she can see that you are doing your best to keep yourself safe she will get more comfortable with the idea that you ride a motorcycle.
    It funny in a way because my 85 year old Mum was ready to go for a ride yesterday. But she can hardly walk and I just couldn't have her on my bike.
  14. I think my uncle had an accident when he was younger - but he was a harley rider... she just doesnt understand :p
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  15. We all can get hurt with all types of transport. Who gets upset when you go for a drive in a car, or travel by plane. A motorcycle is no different it is just that when things go wrong, the injurys can be higher.
  16. It's a hard thing to go through, you want to please but yet you need to get around. Might have to just be a bit cruel to be kind...

    Not sure how tech savvy she is, but you can get gps tracker apps for your smart phone. Fire one up each time you leave home and she can follow you on the web, might make her feel she is keeping an eye on you.
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  17. The one thing you have to remember about mums. It doesn't matter how old you are, whether you live at home or moved out years ago and live in another state, the good ones will always worry about their children. Our eldest is 27 this year. He got his bike L's at 16 and 9 months (as soon as he legally could). We even encouraged him to get his bike licence. Mum still worries about him riding.

    There isn't much you can do. Quoting facts and figures won't mean shit to her, you're her little boy and she doesn't want you to get hurt or killed. You can only reassure her that you'll do your best to stay out of trouble.

    My suggestion is to give your mum a hug each time you leave, tell her you love her and that you'll ride as best the best you can.
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  18. Too true. Thanks mate.
  19. Nothing will stop her worrying, she's a mum. Best thing you can do is not get into an accident. Send her a txt with a smiley face in it when you get to work :)
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  20. You're right - nothing will stop her worrying :(