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Hotel English

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by foxtwo, Mar 22, 2011.

  1. I found some newspaper clippings from my grandfather... this was one of them.

    In a Tokyo Hotel: 'Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.'

    In a Bucharest hotel lobby: 'The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.'

    In a Leipzig elevator: 'Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.'

    In a Belgrade hotel elevator: 'To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each on should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.'

    In a Paris hotel elevator: 'Please leave your values at the front desk.'

    In a hotel in Athens: 'Visitors are expected to complain at the office between 9 and 11 A.M. daily.'

    In a Yugoslavian hotel: 'The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.'

    In a Japanese hotel: 'You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.'

    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: 'You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.'

    In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: 'Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.'

    On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: 'Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.'

    On the menu of a Polish hotel: 'Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.'

    Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: 'Ladies may have a fit upstairs.'

    In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: 'Drop your trousers here for best results.'

    Outside a Paris dress shop: 'Dresses for street walking.'

    In a Rhodes tailor shop: 'Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.'

    Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: 'There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.'

    A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: 'It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.'