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Hormone Hostage

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Azz, Jun 26, 2006.

  1. The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all aman has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own  hands!  This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

    DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
    SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
    SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
    ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
    SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
    SAFEST: WOW!  Look at you!
    ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate

    DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
    SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
    SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
    ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
    SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
    SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
    ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

    DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
    SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
    SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
    ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

  2. :LOL: :LOL: excellent guide .... for all month 'round i reckon!! :wink:
  3. That guide would have come in handy about six months ago :grin: :grin:

    oh well, live and learn.
  4. meh its a womans problem.... :oops: Here baby have some chocolate... :LOL:
  5. :grin: LOL sounds just like son1. He comes out with 'Here mum have some chocolate'
  6. :LOL: he's a quick learner...
  7. forgetting the chocolate for a moment (i can't believe i just said that) this guide is testimony to the fact that guys know what the 'safest', nicest, kindest thing is to say and are just bloody-minded when they choose to say the opposite - and THEN they wonder why they've got an argument on their hands. it's totally self-created guys. no sympathy :twisted:
  8. LMAO carri, bet you couldnt get back in here quick enough to post that.
  9. You forget that when asked "do I look fat in this", the answer of "here, have some chocolate" is only going to make things worse.
  10. :LOL: don't confuse things, one standard response to any given question from your female partner should be all that's needed :wink:
  11. or in my case, just live... :LOL:

    if u needed a guide to tell you what to say and she didn't inspire you to say it naturally, she wasn't the girl for u mate anyway :p :wink:
  12. Hmmm, if your lady is even remotely insecure about her weight and bodily appearance, then "Here have some chocolate" doesn't ever strike me as a "Ultra Safe" choice, quite the opposite in fact.
  13. Agreed........."Sorry dear, here's my wallet, I'll go hide in the shed" works pretty well.
  14. unless you phrase it as "I love you just the way you are... your not fat thats for sure, maybe you could even stand to put on a little? here have some chocolate!"

    all of my female friends except 2 have been anorexic since before i met them, but they still loved chocolate :) (ok so a couple of them would spew it up straight after eating it but pfft.)