Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a chap carrying a golf bag called out to them... - "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." - "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, - "What do you do for a living?" - "I'm a hit man," was the reply. - "You're joking!" was the response. - "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. - "Here are my tools." - "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. - "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked! What's that? Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her ...... He's n*ked as well! The b*tch!" He turned to the hitman, "How much do you charge for a hit?" - "I do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger." - "Can you do two for me now?" - "Sure, what do you want?" - "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he's a mate of mine, a bit of a lad, so just shoot his d*ck off to teach him a lesson." The hitman took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. - "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently. - "Just wait a moment, be patient," said the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."