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Hilarious comments by Chopper Read

Discussion in 'The Pub' at netrider.net.au started by hornet, Jun 17, 2009.

  1. over at news.com.au, Chopper commentates on the death of 'Tuppence' Moran, and associated matters; funny reading :LOL:.


     
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  2. Hmmm no quotes in the OP, no link, well, D- for effort Paul! :p

    If it's that hilarious, how about an actual link to where it is on the site?
     
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  3. http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,25647862-2862,00.html


    Code:
    Chopper Read
    
    June 17, 2009 12:00am
    
    WELL, "two-bob" Tuppence Moran is dead. I told friends he'd be dead within the year - and I was right, as I generally am on these matters.
    
    I reckon Tuppence got whacked as general underworld housekeeping.
    
    He was the last one of the Moran crew left and someone's decided to finish them off.
    
    My oath he would have made a few enemies during his life, but this isn't going to re-ignite an underworld war.
    
    Why? Because there's just not enough people to kill. There's only two or three people out there.
    
    The first attempt on his life a few months back was, in my opinion, a put-up job.
    
    He had that done himself and maybe he just wanted the attention.
    
    Tuppence was the dark horse of the Moran clan. He was the only one with the real criminal power and ability to get things done.
    
    Lewis was a fetch-and-carry boy compared with Tuppence.
    
    Tuppence was the one with the money and the underworld power and authority.
    
    He was the one who could have you shot with a phone call or have you bashed with a nod of his head.
    
    Lewis was just a silly old drunk and a two-bob sneak thief all his life.
    
    He never had any power, any real money, or any authority or any reputation within the criminal world.
    
    Tuppence was regarded as the biggest SP bookmaker in Melbourne, taking bets over the phone from a prominent politician and business tycoon who will remain nameless.
    
    It was rumoured the late Kane brothers used to work for Tuppence as collectors -- working on a 50-50 cut for large outstanding debts.
    
    A $10,000 debt would be split 50-50 - half for Tuppence and half for the Kanes.
    
    But thrifty Tuppence wasn't as generous with his own clan.
    
    Nephew Jason worked for Tuppence as a collector for a 25 per cent cut.
    
    It is said no one ever got a 50-50 deal out of Tuppence after the Kanes died.
    
    I don't mourn his passing.
    
    He didn't like me, and I didn't like him - end of story.
    
    His passing brings to an end a criminal dynasty. Good riddance.
     
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  4. The Ascot Vale Deli is selling a new coffee called the "Des Moran Espresso."

    It has three shots, costs tuppence and will blow your head off.

    :LOL:
     
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  5. :LOL:

    "i guess its a case of old uncle chop chop doing his bit for tourism victoria"
     
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  6. :grin: :grin: :grin:
     
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