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High school essays..

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Tweetster, Mar 11, 2010.

  1. actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays:

    1. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

    2. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

    3. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

    4. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

    5. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

    6. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

    7. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

    8. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

    9. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

    10. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
  2. Some of those are a bit Terry Pratchett-esque.
    Number 4 is very Douglas Adams.

  3. Number 2 is, so like, you know, like, ummmm, yeah....
    Woe is me, for today's humor is tomorrow's literature.
  4. I offered a friends young daughter a drink recently... she answered me with "whatever"... so I said.... "well let me know when it's a yes please and I will give you one!"... :LOL:
  5. Even with impeccable manners one can be caught out;
    "Tea, coffee?"
    "Yes please."
    "Well, which one?"
    Perhaps that's just my family lol :p
  6. Of course they are. People never make their own analogies, they rip them off from elsewhere. When high school students are the people in question, their knowledge of literature is moderately abysmal.
  7. Great find! That started my day off nicely. :D
  8. Yeah the double question is one of my pet hates. I habitually answer "yes"