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Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by haggis, Jul 21, 2005.

  1. Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
    Customer: A white one...


    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
    Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
    Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note."
    Customer: No. Wait aminute... I hadn't inserted it yet, it's still
    on my desk... Sorry...

    Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
    Customer: Your left or my left?


    Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
    Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...
    Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not
    Bill Gates!!


    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
    time I try,
    it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
    placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't
    find it...


    Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah... Thank you.


    Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the


    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
    Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer: Okay.
    Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes.
    Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
    another keyboard?
    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!


    Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a
    capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.
    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?


    A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
    Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five stars.


    Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.


    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screen saver
    on my computer,
    but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!


    And then there is my personal favorite!!

    Helpdesk: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do
    I get the circle around it?
  2. Quote"Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah... Thank you" End quote

    Don't laugh. Co-ordinator at my place of atendance, complained bitterly that no matter what she did, the effing colours would not work.

    One look at printer docs sees "Lexmark B/W Laser Printer".

    Got her a lexmark1100 series, happy girl now.


    ps I got the laser. he he he he
  3. Helpdesk: How may I help you?
    Customer: my kids have windowed my computer
    Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, you see I am on the 2nd floor
    and my PC is on the ground ...in the carpark below
    after windowing, is it meant to be in pieces or assembled? :shock:
  4. Helpdesk: How may I help you?
    Customer: I am installing a program and at this point it says..insert the CD
    Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: I can't see where to insert the CD
    Helpdesk: At the top of the PC, is the CD drive and thats where the CD goes
    so you push the button on the front and the CD tray comes out..put the CD there and push the tray in.
    Helpdesk: Are you there?
    Customer: ummm, well then, where do I put my coffee mug?
  5. That is so old... but it is so true...

    Long time ago I was working as a specialised cleaner. I specialised in cleaning office equipment (mostly computers)... The ammount ot times I have SEEN coffee stains on CD trays is jaw droping!! Also my favorite one was cleaning liquid paper off the screans!!
  6. Thats right , pick on us , the computer illiterate species . Is this the revenge of the nerds :wink: :p :p
  7. I wont post the whole thing but: Here
  8. You gotta love IT Support. It's a thankless job but there are so many perks to it.

    You get to kick CEO's out of their chairs, and tell them what to do.

    You can take 4 hour lunch breaks but saying to the non-tech supervisor "It was a really tricky problem"

    You can prioritise calls in order of how friendly/good looking the person with the problem is.

    Unlimited smoke breaks, as long as you're not on a helpdesk.

    You get sent some really interesting emails by mistake.

    You get to freak out callers when they say "I know nothing about computers" I always reply with "That's ok, neither do I. I'll see if its in the manual" (gives me time to continue reading)

    And if supporting multiple clients you get to go for rides during the day. And you're getting paid for it.

    And always being professional at work, you get to prove that you're not frigid when going out for drinks with clients afterwards :D