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Help for Nobby

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by roundman58, Jul 9, 2005.

  1. RULES FOR MEN

    1. The Female always makes The Rules.

    2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

    3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.

    4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.

    5. The Female is never wrong.
    6. (If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.)

    7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.)

    8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

    9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.

    10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

    11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him to be angry or upset.

    12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

    13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

    14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.

    15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.

    16. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.

    17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!

    This is a list of rules that guys wished women knew...
    (In response to the popular "A Woman's Rules for Men")

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

    2. Don't make us guess.

    3. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    4. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.


    5. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."

    6. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    7. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.

    8. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

    9. You have enough clothes.

    10. You have too many shoes.

    11. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

    12. Your brother is an idiot.

    13. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

    14. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

    15. Share the bathroom

    16. Share the closet.



    17. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

    18. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    19. Nothing says 'I love you' like sex in the morning.

    20. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

    21. Check your oil.

    22. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    23. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank
    range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
     
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  2. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
     
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