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Hell explained by a chemistry student

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by motormouse, Mar 17, 2007.

  1. For those of you with an interest in academia...


    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
    chemistry mid term.

    The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
    the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
    (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
    (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
    need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
    at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
    a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
    leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
    different religions that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
    religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
    religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
    can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
    they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
    exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
    because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
    pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
    proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
    enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
    until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Jessica during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
    into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
    must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
    frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
    over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
    therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
    existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Jessica kept
    shouting "Oh my God."

  2. :LOL: oldie and a goodie mate well done!
  3. Lol.
    Nice one.
    I must be a real geek, 'cause that sort of joke realy apeals to me.
  4. haha that was good reading
    even at this early morning :LOL: :LOL:
  5. Magnificent!!! Oldie is it ward? I cant say i have ever heard it
  6. nice

    well put lol
  7. :LOL:

    Have forwarded it to everyone I know with a sense of humour :grin:
  8. beautifully worded!! It's an oldie, i've heard that a few years ago... had forgotten about it though!
  9. :rofl:

    thats hillarious! i love it