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Have you out-n00bed the n00b?

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by dan_, Sep 10, 2008.

  1. Okay, ladies and gents, post your stories to see who can out-n00b me!
    (I'm sure this has been done to death, but I like a good story.)

    Note: No death/carnage stories thanks, just classic n00biness...

    Okay so i've had the bike a week. The previous owner was so kind as to leave a whole 3L of petrol in the bike for me, and the only counter to my complaint was was "when she starts to splutter turn the knob to res."

    I drove off... she spluttered, I turned the knob to res and continued down to the petrol station where I promptly filled up to the top.

    So today I was riding up southern cross drive from botany when I'm sitting at the front of the lights and I comment to myself "jeez the engines gone quiet" - but I thought the sound was just washed out by the road noise, as when I revved it, I felt the vibes through my thighs. Light goes green from the intersection of botany and southern cross drive, and I hammer it round the corner when she starts to cough and splutter. I get it up to 80kms and I'm sitting in top gear and I start to slow... I'm twisting my wrist trying to get the bastard to accelerate and all that happens is the needle slowly points to 50... 30... 20... I'm downshifting rapidly cursing profusely about the previous owner and how s/he (a couple) sold me a lemon of a bike... I'm now half way up southern and on a sweeping left... with about a foot and a half of shoulder room. I coast to a stop. As a mack truck thunders passed within a foot of my head I dive off the bike and into the trees that line the road.

    Squatting in the bushes by the roadside watching the world skim within a hairs-breadth of my savings, I start to look over the engine and bike for problems, patiently waiting for the RTA tow vehicle to collect me (as they faithfully do). I check out the tripmeter and notice that I'd put 270kms on the bike since I'd had it... and I wondered to myself that in fact that's one hell-of-a distance for a bike to go on about 11L of fuel!

    Then it dawned on me. I popped the fuel cap and it was bone dry. I was furious with myself... So I'm contemplating wheeling the bike up the freeway when the thought occured to push through the bushes and jump the fence of the freeway and see if any help was on the other side.

    I take of my helmet and jacket (wouldnt want to scratch them!), climb the nearest sturdy tree, and leg it over the cyclone fence into some bowling club behind mascot. I eyed off the green keeper mowing the lawns... and I sheepishly approached him and motioned for him to kill the mower.

    "Excuse me mate, I'm in a bit of trouble on the freeway. My bikes just died and I was wondering if I could siphon a bit of fuel out of your mower?". After a chuckle, he obliges and fills a tin with about 1/2 a litre of fuel.

    I hot-foot it back to the fence. Jump it with my tin, and procede to fill the bike by the side of the freeway. I put the tin down in the scrub, donned my gear and started the bike. Just as I was about to pull away, this terrible guilt overcame me about leaving an old tin in the scrub, so I jumped off the bike, collected the tin and just as I was getting up, headbutted a tree and put a monster scratch in my visor :(.

    Back on the bike, I picked my gap in traffic and re-entered with the right wrist twisted hard-on, and cycling the gears like I never have in my life, just to get off the shoulder and not sandwiched between a tree and a semi trailer....

    Any-how. I coasted to the nearest servo. pulled up and had the longest breather.

    I'll never forget to turn that knob from res to main from now on when I fill up... never.

    P.S Yes. I checked to see if the mower was a two stroke.

  2. Paging Kishy
    Noob aisle 2!
  3. 2-strokes rule!!!

    Yep - we've all had that sinking feeling/heart in mouth early on in our riding careers when the main runs dry (usually on the 1st big run it seems) and you're not quite sure why the bike has died on you 20k's from the nearest servo.....

    Welcome to the fun world of biking and make sure you pop back to the bowls club to buy the kind gardner a schooner and re-tell your story to him! Nice to know there are good people out there willing to lend a hand :)

  4. haha...

    nice one man..

    southern cross drive can be a bit of a nightmare.
  5. :LOL:

    The joys of motorcycling.

    I have a lot of noob stories. But my favorite one would be a couple of weeks after I bought my bike. I had just had my bike serviced by the local mechanic and while I was talking with some of the guys in the shop a rider mention that there was a big police presence just up the road. So naturally everyone took another route home, except for me. I decided I knew they were there so I would just take it nice and easy down that road.

    The road went from 80 to 60 about halfway along so I knew that's where the cops would be. Sure enough, just as I could see the 60 sign up ahead about 500m were a heap of cop bikes and cars. Looked like they were doing RBT's.

    So I start slowing down for the 60 zone and the bike starts spluttering..... damn f*^k!ng mechanics, not refueling my bike. Anyhow I flick over to reserve (by this time the engine had stopped) and I start trying to crank it over while still rolling along at about 60k's. Nothing.

    So without indicating I pull across a bus lane up the gutter and start rolling along the pavement. I pulled up about 2m behind a cop van who was doing rego checks on cars with a camera then radio-ing ahead to the waiting coppers. The cop starts staring at me, then writes down my rego and starts typing it into his computer. All this time I'm trying to figure out WTF is going on with my bike. I check the fuel tank and its full?!?!? WTF is going on? Anyhow I end up calling a mate and start thinking about getting my bike towed. All the time the copper is just staring at me (I do look dodgey). Anyway my mate pulled up, we start checking everything, fuel spark, everything we can think of. Then my mate says, did you check you kill switch?

    Ahhh, problem solved, somehow I managed to hit the kill switch when I was slowing down for the cops ahead, killed my bike and ended up rolling to an embarrassing stop right in front of the first cop.

    With the problem solved I rode off with a few waves from the coppers as I rode past :oops:
  6. HAHA ^^^^^^

    Thanks mate, that was Gold!

    gotta love the NooB stories!
  7. When i first got my bike i was riding into town (25k's from my place) and the bike slowly began to loose speed and power and eventually came to a standstill. i proceeded to push the bike off the road and put it on the side stand. here is me thinking geeez what have i done? i must have bought a crap bike it doesn't work properly blah blah blah. i thought of fuel and switched it onto reserve. tried to start it a large number of times and it wouldn't start. i then glanced in the oil window on my bike, after all i was trying to eliminate what could possibly be wrong (yes, whilst it was on the side stand) and obviously there was no oil visible so i thought, oh shit it must need some oil then. luckily i was on top of a hill and i then preceded to roll the bike to the bottom of the hill and then using the footpath began to push it the kilometer or so to the only servo in town. a police officer drove past and then turned around and came back pulled up next to me.

    Officer 'are you ok mate'
    Me 'ummm i think my bike is out of oil so i need to push it to the servo to get some more'
    officer 'well park it up ahead in that turnout and i will give you a ride'

    very nice officer then preceded to give me a ride to the servo where i bought 1L of oil and the very nice officer then gave me a ride back to my bike. i filled the bike with the entire contents of the bottle, untill (yes still on the sidestand) i could see oil up to the top of the level. i then jumped on the bike and gave it 2 cranks and it revved into life. satisfied with myself i then rode to the servo, filled up with fuel and was on my merry way. when i got home i rang the dealership (i bought it second hand from a dealership) very angrily told them the bike had no oil in it when they sold it to me and demanded that something was wrong and they come pick it up as soon as possible. they were nice about it and actually drove the 160km's down to pick it up for me. Turns out it was just taking a while for the fuel from the reserve in the tank to get thorough to the carby :?

    funny stuff...we all have such stupid stories but hey its all learning
  8. hey all,

    well been reading these forums religiously and decided to join and this is my first post.

    had my bike for a month now, but in the first week i was refueling at a servo, after i started it up, got all my gear on hoped on and click into gear.....bamm motor dies. im like all puzzled by this, start her up again and into gear, died. so im thinking "oh crap!" by this time everyone at the servo is looking at me (yay!). anyways after the 6th try still no luck, im starting to get agro as its a brand spanka bike, less then 4 days old. so i get off, inspect everything i can think of. then i start her up again and only with the stroke of luck looking down, i notice my stand is still down..... ](*,)

    after about 10 minutes, 4 4x4 coming into refuel and leavin before me, i felt like the biggest nub

  9. G'day Kelvin,

    Exact same thing happened to me, although I had just bought the thing, was sitting in the previous owner's driveway with him looking on, was becoming as sweaty as a pig in a doona due to the fact I was in full gear on a Summer's evening, and if I couldn't even get it moving how did I expect to ride it 80km home?!! :shock:

    Attention n00bs:

    :idea: If the bike won't start when the starter is pressed, the kill switch is on.

    :idea: If the bike engine stops when you select first gear or release the clutch to friction point, the stand is on.

    :idea: When you are at the servo, always check the fuel selector switch is on main and not res.

    :idea: If you have any exposed skin, get off the bike and rectify it before getting back on.

    Dan, you're a legend, I just would have wheeled the thing 10km to the servo. I'm one of those blokes who can't stop and ask for directions! And don't worry 'bout the scratch on the visor mate, they're character lines :LOL:

  10. This is about the dumbest thing I've ever done.

    I was having trouble fitting the standard air hose end on to fill my tyres. So a friend gave me a right angle connector to help.

    I used it while my friends were having a bit of stir of me and put the cap back on. Rode about 40 kms and had lunch, then was riding back, through some nice bendy fast roads.

    I'm not the most confident rider but I thought my bike was handling like a biatch. I kept thinking it was just me and to just focus on doing a pace that I was comfortable with, but it still felt like the rear end was sliding.

    Eventually one of the other riders signalled for me to pull over, which I did with a skid. My rear tyre was totally flat. I had left the right angle connector on and had just put the cap onto it! Another 15kms to the nearest station (using all front brake) where the tyre was so low it wouldn't even register.

    I think I was very lucky, and another Newbie lesson, if you feel your bike is handling weirdly, it may have flat tyres (and take out the angle).
  11. my biggest noob moment so far was about 2 weeks ago..... similar thing happened...

    2nd tank of fuel in my brand new bike.... first tank got 398km, so i assume that i should get around the same.
    So I'm on my way to work in Pt Melbourne in the arvo and running early so i decide to go to the servo to pick up the latest bike mag that was out. Get to servo half km away from work.... no mag.... so i decide to go to the nearest servo that i know of (i only moved to melb 2 months ago so still finding my bearings) which is the bp in st kilda... plus i have some time to kill and it was a nice day so would be a nice adventure.

    Ride to servo in st kilda, who dont have the mag i want either.... So decide to go back to work. Leave the servo thinking 'should have filled up there.... i've done 345km's to this tank and the needle looks low... nah i'll be right... i'll do it after work"

    Get 4 km's down the road and throttle dies on me.... thinking "shit i've run outta fuel and i'm gonna be late to work!"
    Pull over at the lights and it dies going back into 3rd....
    Yep run outta fuel.... hmmm... options...
    1. Walk back to servo
    2. Push bike back to servo
    3. Hope someone stops
    4. Get a cab
    Cabs on marina pde at st kilda are a no hope! Its a brand new bike and i'm attatched at the hip to it so i'm not going to leave it. No ones gonna stop... so that leaves me with push it to the servo... after all it cant be that far......... so ring work and start pushing.
    2km's later sweating like a pig in full gear plus trackies and a jumper undeneath and i'm pushing my bike through the middle of this park thing when a guy approaches me and asks if i want a lift... would i ever!!

    Turns out he has a gixxer thou at home, and said he could understand my pain lol

    Anyway he takes me back to the bp in st kilda in his car, he has a pump water bottle that he gives me which i flush with fuel and fill to fill my bike with. He then takes me back and I get it going before slowly riding it back to the servo....

    Funny thing is he said i would help the next rider when i offered him some cash for taking me.... i thought no i wont... no ones that dumb to run out like me.... sure enough next arvo i come past a bike on side of road... guys run outta fuel so i went to servo and did same thing with the water bottle for him and passed on the good deed :)

    speed_demon... im the same... i wont ask for help unless its offered to me... if im lost i'll keep riding till i find something i know :p

    sorry for huge post
  12. LMFAO :rofl: :rofl: Gold I tells ya...these stories are gold.. :applause:

    ......and yes, I have done the side stand cut out switch thing.. :oops: :bolt:
  13. Nothing like learning on a bike with a kickstart to encourage the pre-checks ;)
  14. Ah the classic out of fuel feeling.

    When I first got my bike, I read the manual and it said not to fill the tank so the fuel is near the filler neck cage. So I get a decent distance out of the first tank and "fill it up". That was about 6L and I was thinking, damn this is a great bike.

    Being an noob at any type of refuelling, I don't drive a car, I put the nozzle into the tank and make sure the nozzle is resting on the filler neck. I fill it until the auto cut out engages. Bike was on the side stand as well.

    So for the next few weeks, I'm having all sorts of trouble with the bike cutting out after 140-150 k's. I wasn't happy. Managed to keep this up until my first service, where the mechanic said to fill it up to the filler neck and stand the bike up straight while doing so. Next fill, 10.5 L.

    I've since worked out that I get 230km on the main tank and I still haven't gone more than 20k on reserve. Only downside, I can't operate my fuel tap with my gloves on, it's recessed and a terrible design.
  15. Haha, mate i had the same thing happen to me with my old two stroke. You described it perfectly of the bike dying, i was clueless too as why my bike was dying giving it full throttle. I just called mum to the rescue with a jerry can.

    That was unfortunate lesson but a hell funny story especially asking someone for petty :LOL:
    A story you'll remember and be able to tell people about it :applause:

  16. hahaha

    I've tried to pull start my little yamaha outboard for 20 mins before realising the kill switch was off! Flooded it too...
  17. I had been riding motorcycles all my life, but this one is a noob moment.

    Went to Tasmania for work and boss gave the nod for me taking the bike. All happy and no drama, looking forward to beautiful Tassie roads! Got the bike in the ship and off to 10hrs. travel. When I got to Tasmania untied the ropes, etc. All other bikes have rolled out ..... but my bike wouldn't start. Oh the agony ... not only for the thought of missing the roads but screwing up the work as well.. At the final moment I noticed what's that kill switch doing there (never used it) and apparently it was switched off by the ropes. OHHH the relief :oops:
  18. :LOL: A good read ...

    Oh and no, I've never made a noob mistake
  19. first few days of riding my mate and i wondered why my suzuki and his duke would switch off randomly when we started and put it in first... we occasionally revved it to override it...

    eventually we figured out the kick stand kill switch.....

  20. This happened about 20 years ago when I was at uni in Adelaide. I'd only had a bike a few weeks and hadn't got around to getting a license yet. I had two beers with mates at the uni bar before riding home. The bike broke down outside the front gates of Government House. The cops on guard duty were really helpful, they let me go into the guard house to phone a towtruck. I felt so paranoid. There were 3-4 cops sitting around the table. There was me, surrounded by cops, smelling of beer and not having a bike license.