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Have you heard about the constipated wooden horse?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by R Moore, Sep 13, 2008.

  1. Have you heard about the constipated wooden horse?
    Wooden shit!
    Have you heard about the constipated steel horse?
    Steel wooden shit!!
    What do you call a man with a spade sticking out of his head?
    Doug!
    What do you call a man without a spade sticking out of his head?
    Douglas!
    What do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?
    Warren!
    What do you call a woman with one leg?
    Ilene!
    What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg?
    Irene!
    What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a swimming pool?
    Bob! :grin:
    What's the difference between an egg and a beetroot?
    You can beat an egg but you can't beat a root!


     
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  2. come on mate, more effort required.
     
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  3. erm..

    a man in a tree?
    russell


    Heard about the guy who took valium, and viagra?

    didn`t get a phuck, didn`t give a phuck
     
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  4. What do you call a man at your front door?
    Matt
     
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  5. a man with leaves in his pockets? ... Russel

    a man with no legs? ... Neil

    a man with a crooked spine? ... Jarred
     
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  6. an ethiopian with a tin hat on - Nail
     
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  7. Dude with a seagull on his head?

    Cliff.
     
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  8. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?
    Art

    What do you call his arms and legs hanging on the opposite wall?
    Pieces of Art
     
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  9. ..Bob?? i'd call him f***ed...! :twisted:
     
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  10. what do you call a man with a 1" d!ck?

    Justin
     
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  11. OK, this is probably the worst joke I know, so I apologise in advance (but, forgive me, I still find it funny):

    Girl with no arms and no legs is lying on the beach. Guy comes up and starts chatting, and everything seems to be going well. After a while he says
    "Have you ever been hugged before?"
    "No," she says, "never been hugged before."
    So he hugs her, and she says "Ooh, that's nice."
    A while later he says
    "Have you ever been kissed before?"
    "No, never been kissed before."
    So he kisses her, and she just says "Mmmmm."
    Then it's
    "Have you ever been f%&$ed before?"
    "Ooh no, I've never been f^*&ed before"
    So he picks her up and chucks her in the water and says
    "Well, you're f^&%ed now!"
     
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  12. Did you hear about the constipated accountant- he tried to sit down and work it out with a pencil and paper, lucky for him his calculator had flat batteries. :shock:
     
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  13. A women with a toothpick up her arse


    Olive




    A man with 5 rabbits up his arse

    Warren



    A man in a long rain coat

    Mack


    2 Men in a long rain coat

    Max


    2 men in a long rain coat at the cemetery

    Max Bygraves




    Arrrrgghhh - I am having a grade 5 flashback!!
     
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  14. A black man with a spear shoved up his bum??

    Choc wedge.
     
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