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Happy Rant - Stupid Cagers can't split!

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by brownyy, May 1, 2009.

  1. a little story from this mornings commute in...

    In my daily freezing morning commute it appears all the other road users seem to sit about 30-40 km/h under 'the speed limit'. No idea why, I sit legally on 'the speed limit' it poses a problem in my eyes as unnecessary traffic in my way. Bring on the lane splitting!! While this particular 2 lane highway is cut quite wide lane splitting here at speed is very simple, and to this day is still one of my favorite past times. I've had a few close calls such as at the last moment moving in between two cars they decide to play; 'lets-squash-the-motorcyclist' and move together making my mirrors at times go under 4WD mirrors and what not. While this is rare it all adds to the excitement of my daily commute.

    Today was a little interesting. Putting along (as 250's do, actually wait, screaming along would be more fitting) I had a P-plater male in a late 90's statesman decide he wants to do 'the speed limit' too. He is sitting on my right hand side and I look at him and he doesn't look at me. I figure that's fine, your aloud to sit on 'the speed limit' too. At first I slow down a little to let him pass, he slows down, so I speed up a little, he speeds up. He's Matching my position and speed on the highway. Approaching in the left lane is a car doing 30-40 km/h under again, silly cagers. The P-plater is quite courteous and moves right over to the right hand side giving me shit loads of room to split through. I accelerate slightly to a fraction over 'the speed limit', pass, then return to 'the speed limit' and continue on my merry morning. He matches me speed again, getting a little annoying now...

    However, my favorite additive to the morning arrives. The same stuff that gives my 250 a chance against the swing flu's with flashy lights, the stuff that gets cagers angry and gives me a giggle... Traffic!! :grin: Both lanes are full with about 6-8 cars, (all of course doing 30-40 under 'the speed limit') and plenty of room to split. I accelerate and preform the split with surgeon like precision... no actually drunken sex precision would be more accurate minus the lube, this was due to the white line paint and reflective thingys giving me a flick about.

    My P-plater shadow is stuck behind said cagers now going 30-40 km/h under 'the speed limit'. I again, relax to my music and continue on my merry way. It was a merry morning, the temperature was in the high single digits, unlike the morning before it was minus 1 in summer gloves. Flash forward 10km or so and my shadow returns with a smirk thinking he is the shit. Of course he is, he drives a commondore / wog chariot / sick beast / shitbox / red neck warrior / typical bogan no identity car. He thinks his super car can keep up with a bike doing 'the speed limit'. Little does he know, I have one of the slowest bikes in the bike world, its like racing a Hyundai with an Aston Martin. However, my biker in my says I will not submit to some tobacco chewing roo shooting cager...

    Time serves me well, as we near closer to the city, more of my favorite stuff... Traffic!! :grin: Although, a glance ahead over the up coming few km's of highway indicates once I split through this batch, Mr sister loving P-plater will not be catching up to admire the raw awesome-ness-ness of a motorbike (especially one as so sexy as my semi street-fightered 250), so I better make the most of it. I turn to him with my winter clear visor, point to him then symbol a small measure meant with my thumb and index finger (admittedly in my new fat winter gloves) then proceed to accelerate (and squeeze out the last little bit of 'speed' the 'lil 250 has) towards the traffic. He attempts to keep up however in the closing moments I see the nose dip as he approaches the traffic doing 30-40 km/h under 'the speed limit' as here is clearly has the picks doug in. I fleet between a semi and two cages to the right of it, clearly obeying the "Keep left unless overtaking" law. Shooting past the end of the semi and lead car I feel like I've won an Olympic medal, I shoot through into a clear zone or emptiness of success, with the pleasuring thought that my P-plater entertainment is cursing in his cage stuck behind the traffic realising cages suck in traffic (except maybe this guy) and bikes are the ducts nuts.

    I continue on my merry way as if nothing had happened and arrive to work like I do every other day. Work isn't so entertaining these days so my daily commutes are far more entertaining. Bring on Europe!

  2. Haha I was nearly going to write this off as just another cage antagoniser story until I you posted that pic. Made my day now.
  3. It's a nice story (although you may need to split it into chapters LOL).

    It took me back to the days when i first started riding. Any little thing, no matter how small, was an adventure. Riding with a mate on our L's we would discuss for hours - 'Did you see me split past that car whilst we were moving, did you see that car try and cut me off' etc.

    Those things don't even register anymore, i've become immune to the risk. The stories of seasoned riders would no doubt have any newbie in sensory overload LOL.

    It's the innocence of youth that triggers our own fond memories.

    Thanks for posting mate. It triggered my own fond memories of when i started riding and recalling that time in my life it's absolutely made my day :)
  4. Thanks for the good read and the laughs :wink:
  5. hehe i do love a good "victory" story.

  6. haha :)

    Reminds me of last week I was riding back from MSAC along Kingsway and heading to the Westgate. I had pulled away from the lights fairly *ahem* promptly to look to my left and started to indicate to pull left into an empty lane - anyway a souped-up hoonmobile has floored it to try and cover the distance to close the door on me getting over so I happily stayed in line, waited until he was level and he was clearly wanting a race. Aha, thinks I - so I opened it out a bit and he has sped up too matching my excess speed.... yep, he's on the hook...

    I slam on the brakes dropping almost instantly to 55ish and he whips through the speed camera at Sturt/Dorcas? St and *flash flash* ha ha he is busted :D

    fcuking pissed myself laughing all the way across the Westgate :D
  7. Nice story, did you do a happy dance?
  8. he has to do a happy dance! I love splitting through cars when that happens to me :grin: good read for the day.

  9. That is tip top. You get Pauly's fulli sik Autobarns sticker for that.

    P.S. Just to clear it up, I'm not having a go at you. Awesome work on your part.
  10. Done that before in Lower Templestowe :) Was sitting at the ton with a cager keeping up... got down to 60 just as I hit the intersection and he went past at 100... 40km/h over has gotta hurt.
  11. you're a can't :p
  12. Hehe, such funny and wonderful stories. Thanks for sharing.

    I must admit that I too like to rub in the advantages of riding a bike everytime I come across someone whose driving I don't like. Any time I have someone pass me too close or see someone trying to overtake as much as possible, I make sure I split and sit just in front of them at every red light.

    Gotta be the most fun thing in the world to watch someone speed and weave in and out of traffic and still lose to you when you overtake them at a red light. Puts a smile on my face just thinking about it.
  13. Maybe im getting old or sit in a cage too much but to me it sounded dangerous.

    splitting with drunken sex precision flicking about everywhere while keeping an eye on a commo playing funny buggers and shooting in between a semi.

    Glad it turned out well but, and put a cager in his place :) .
  14. hehe... i had a similar thing happen to me on the way home, commonhore p plater overtaking me to fly down the left lane that opens up for an intersection, only for me to split past him at the red light.

    pull onto the freeway and he does it again, flying down the road till we hit the 2km long traffic jam, for me to split past him thinking he's up for a long wait.... :p
  15. never said it wasn't...! :grin:
    yeah, you may be getting old... :p
  16. wow i've never heard of someone so happy about traffic.

    I personally cant stand it and i usually dont lane split, did enjoy this story though
  17. Could this be the reason why caggers hate bikers and try to run us down or not be so curtious when certain riders break the law???

    It may be fun now till you end up like some of the riders on youtube with no balls no legs and no head's

    I wish you law breakers and bike cowboys best of luck.
  18. happy splitting is always fun.. been playing a game with a focus for a while now on the way to and from work and while school holidays where on he 'almost' had a chance.. now schools back and this moring i left a little late and the 4 km filter i perform i cam accross his $200 exhaust. didnt look just a little rev and see ya sport.. :p
  19. Been splitting (and other activity that may not meet with universal approval) on an everyday basis for 20 years now. Balls, legs, head and licence are all in excellent condition thank you very much.
  20. You must be referring to your thoughts as a 30yr cager.

    TBH, couldn't give a F what you people think of us. 2yrs on the road & I
    honestly can't recall the last time one of your mob purposely shut a
    gap down on me, not be courteous or trying to run me off the road.

    Rather I've had many many instances of you cagers making more room
    & giving the thumbs up, nod of the head, or flick of the beams etc

    For all I know, maybe you just jealous because your lil cruiser is not
    capable of splitting traffic [​IMG]



    Why would he Brownyy?

    Would still struggle to reach 60km/h... downhill [​IMG]

    +1 to lane splitting/filtering. Single/multi-lane, there are those who'll
    do so at any available opportunity.