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Good comeback line... for a drunk

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Lectre, May 23, 2007.

  1. This was apparently in the Washington Post - the title of which was, "Best Come Back Line Ever."

    In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

    Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

    The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

    Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

    "That was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he was just...... pumping away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

    "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'

    He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? F**k me, is it midnight already?"

  2. :shock: :LOL: :LOL: that guy is a quick thinker!!! although not sure on the state of his mind on doin it with a pumpkin. but each to his own :)
  3. Shenanigans!

    Why ruin a good gag by passing it off as a news story?

  4. LOL
    didn't want to diminish any potential humour by editing it!
  5. Old joke. still funny, but no need to pass it off as a fresh story.