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Gone to ... heaven?

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by El Damo, Jan 20, 2007.

  1. Two friends, Steve and Bob, are both killed in a light plane crash. All his life Steve had given to charity, been polite to people, and given motorcycles plenty of room to lanesplit. Bob would more often than not steal from charity workers, start fights with random strangers, and deliberately cut off motorcycles.

    Steve finds himself at the Pearly Gates. Sure enough, there's St Peter holding a big book.
    "Welcome, Steven, to the Kingdom of Heaven"
    "You may enter the gates"
    "Thanks, St Peter. I was just wondering about my friend Bob - I don't see him anywhere."
    "Unfortunately your friend lived a very sinful life. God was especially displeased about his behaviour towards motorcyclists. I'm afraid your friend has been sent downstairs."

    Steve isn't really surprised by this, but he still wants to make sure is friend isn't suffering too much.
    "St Peter, is there some way I can check that Bob is OK?"
    "Of course - you can see him on this screen"

    Steve turns to the screen. To his surprise he sees Bob with two kegs of beer and two women.
    "What?!" he splutters. "Hang on a sec here. I've been good all my life, he's been bad, and yet I'm here with nothing and he's got not only two kegs of beer, but two women as well. That just isn't fair."

    "Whoa! Calm down there, tiger. There's a couple of things you should know. First, there are women inside. I'm sure you'll meet one you like. Second, your friend is in for a big disappointment."

    "How so?"

    "The kegs of beer have holes in them. The women don't."
  2. so what happened to pete? :p :p

  3. He was unable to make love to any of the beer kegs in heaven :cry:
  4. ....but it doesnt say that, i am genuinely concerned for him :shock: :LOL:
  5. this reminds me of the first rule when inducting new workiers in to roadworks. they all have to do the greencard thing and the only thing they need to remember is to RTFQ!!!!!

    it can be hard being relatively uneducated and then all-of-a-sudden you have to sit a test :shock:
  6. Steve is now consistently Steve. :) Still dead, though.

    Pete is fine, in case anyone is wondering. He got sick of giving way to motorcycles while driving, so his solution was to ditch the car and get a bike instead. :)
  7. So much wrongness.