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Golf joke

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by VladTepes, Oct 16, 2011.

  1. Two Women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

    The ball hit one of the men.

    He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
    The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately went to apologize.. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical The****** and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.

    'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

    At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?

    He replied: It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken.

  2. Didnt see that one coming!
  3. i THINK ive heard before but very good!
  4. There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday.

    One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy asked themif he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said,"Sure."

    So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends became curious of what the man did for a living so they asked him. The stranger told them that he was a hitman. They kinda laughed. The man said, "No, really! I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere I go. You can take a look if you like." So one of the guys decided he would. He opened up the bag and sure enough, there was this rifle with a huge scope on it. He got all excited about it. He said, "WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?"

    The stranger said, "Sure." So the man looked for a second and said, YEAH! I can! I can even see through my windows into my bedroom. There's my wife, naked. WAIT! There's my next door neighbor! He's naked too!"

    This upset man, so he asked the hitman how much it would be for a hit. The hit man replied, "It's $1000 every time I pull the trigger." The man said, "$1000? Ouch! But okay. I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't stand it. Second, I want you to shoot my neighbor right in the dick, for screwing around with my wife." The hitman agrees, lifts the rifle and looks through the scope. He's looking for about 5 minutes. Well, the man is getting impatient and asks the hitman what he's waiting for. The hitman replies, "Just hold on now..... I'm about to save you a thousand bucks."
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