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Getting older - a true story...

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by NiteKreeper, Aug 19, 2011.

  1. I usually shave my head but let it go a bit over winter, so I only recently noticed a few grey hairs around my temple. I'm not really concerned about it, since in my mind I'll be 23 forever ;)
    But I admit to being a little shocked this morning, when I stepped out the shower and noticed both my nipples are sporting a couple of silver strands too!

    All I can say is: I hope Mrs K likes Bob Hawke, because I reckon my pecker's gonna look like him any day now!
  2. Time to consider a bit of man-scaping perhaps??

    P.S. LOVE the signature!! Thats going into my eulogy!

  3. It's not so much is says, "Aaarrrgharagh" like Hawkie, it's the uncontrolled weeping that's the trouble.
  4. Wait till you get a grey pube lol. Always reminds me of a book called Jitterbug Perfume :)
  5. ...stray eyebrows!.... pluck-em!..... 8-[
  6. Mate, that is just wrong, why would you say that. I need mental emetic now ,1000cc of scotch STAT.
  7. You're lucky it doesn't emulate John Howard. If that were the case every time you saw a picture of the Queen, Bob Menzies, Mark Taylor, John's mum or Alan Jones, you would not only get an erection you'd feel the need to flagellate yourself.

    Of course if it were Tony Abbott the answer would just be no all the time.

    Paul Keating would be the most fun. Your old fella could hurl abuse at you as commentary on your performance.
    • Like Like x 1
  8. I was driving down the road and turn in sharp to the road I needed, the young bloke behind me yelled out. "Where's you indicator you old bastard" That's when it hit me. ..
  9. You're in the transition phase .. once its all silver you can just tell everyone you dyed it as its trendy.
  10. I like this getting old business. The older I get, the better I was. I had more fun, more sex, more drugs, more success and way more respect in 1980 every year that goes past. Pretty soon I'm going to have to start searching for myself in print because I must have got a write up at some stage.

    When I fell over my own feet or lost my wallet (again) in '80 it was because I was a doofus, but now it means my long term memory is more effective than my short term. When I couldn't pull a decent slide or a mono, it was because I was a skirt and needed to grow a pair, but now it means I'm responsible and mature.

    But best of all, when I dreamed of the bike I wanted, it didn't exist and I'd have had to build it myself, using money I didn't have and engineering know-how that nobody alive had, but I knew I wanted a black and chrome sports bike with 200 hp and 300 km/h that handled and stopped and cornered better than a (1980) 500 GP bike, but with every day civility and reliability and practicality to do things like commute, or lug a pillion to Cairns and back. And it had to look good, to others, not just me. Money couldn't have bought that bike, or built it in 1980. But guess what I have in my garage?

    Mid life crisis? What fukken crisis?
  11. Yup, agreed....

    And DONT dye your chest hair!

    (this did happen, My X did this when i first met the muppet)
  12. :-s People dye their chest hair?? That's a bit strange.
  13. would have been even weirder if he had dyed the carpet to match the drapes....

  14. Just alot! he was paranoid about grey hair! sorry but mid 40s your going to be a little grey
  15. Yeah. BUT dying chest hair????? What a waste of time. I mean why bother.
  16. I for one am looking forward to getting old.
    You can stop "keeping up" with fashions.
    You pick your year - and every piece of music made after it just becomes "crap".
    You can shoplift and pass it off as a senior moment.
    You get be completely racist and discriminatory and nobody really pays attention.
  17. I've got a little section of my beard that's been grey for a year now.

    Just one side... because if one side matched the other that would just be farking weird. ](*,)
  18. I knew a bloke called Ron who used to have a white badger stripe right up the middle of his head. When I got to know him better, I figured it was misleading. He should have had two of them.
  19. I went through rookies with a bloke called Barry, who had a white patch about the size of a 50c piece in the middle of his otherwise black hair.
    Of course he was called "Barry Birdshit".
  20. Did he smell like a skunk as well?? :D