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funny tales of revenge

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by D Stump, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. i'm not a vengeful person [except for what i did to dawn fraiser (seeking closure 31)].

    anyway i've heard some funny stories of what other people have done and i would like to hear your stories or ideas [just for fun].

    one crazy workmate from years ago got dumped when her boy took off for two weeks with another woman. she had the key to his 2nd floor 2 bedroom flat so she covered his carpet in grass seeds and watered it every day. by the time he got home the grass was knee high.

    doesn't have to be about love. poetic justice and such.
  2. dont you people have anything to offer?

    there's heaps o funny shit out there!

    just because my story is top doesnt mean yours wont b appreciated.

    i would love to give you another buts thats the only one i know.
  3. still planning my revenge.
    count of mote cristo style... i will only get revenge when it can be complete.. :twisted: :twisted:
  4. I am getting revenge all teh time. It's funny how small my industry is, and how fast rumours can spread about employers!
    ALso funny when you keep running in to people who were thinking of working for your old boss, and you can persuade them not to!
    Must be tricky running a business with no staff.......

    Regards, Andrew.
  5. Not sure how much i would be willing to reveal on this forum - but just for giggles, say your sister is dating soe one who treeats her like shit and you want to ahve a giggle with them, the old dog shit under the car door handles can be pretty funny.
  6. well like i said the other day... My ex stole my sword collection so I reported him to the police for having an illegal sword collection ;) (they wernt registered when they were in my posession either)
  7. "Revenge is a kind of wild justice, which the more a man's nature runs to, the more ought law to weed it out." Francis Bacon

    But then, I bet his missus never ran off with a merchant banker who owned a Porsche and a million shares in Microsoft.......
  8. My grandpa has a great one.

    He used to be a country copper, and a tough one, too. Kids who drove reklessly and killed their friends got to identify the corpses in the morgue.

    My favourite, though, was when a bunger was set off in his bin. Of course, back then, the bins were metal, so it let out a huge *BANG* and scared the crap out of him.

    He stuffed this guy's hubcaps with prawn heads.

    Being summer at the time, it was really hot.

    It took until they were oozing for the guy to figure out where the stench was coming from.

    :LOL: :LOL:
  9. I like your grandpa!
    I've known of someone who would pour tuna oil (readily available at fishing stores) down the air vents of cars, and I once knew of a fish that was put into the airconditioning ducts at the school library! Peeeeeewwwwww!
    Revenge is something that should be carefully planned and savoured.

    Regards, Andrew.
  10. i like sonjas grand dad too!

    back when i was 17 my two sisters were at war. i was woken up by the poo [my twin] who told me she put really smelly dog poo in ness's car.

    ness took off to new york the next week and the poo got her car! the stench lasted a couple o weeks.
  11. My ex-girlfriend had an evil sister that lived with us. I can't remember what she did that tipped me over the edge, but I used her toothbrush to clean my arse in the shower.

    Mmmmm, tingly. It was referred to very quietly by my ex and I as the anal-b incident.

    I hope I don't regret this post. :grin:
  12. thats low loz! you would have come across better if you gave a reason for your actions. goose! [quick make something up]

    you remind me of something a friend did. [what do you know i do have more than one story!]

    he was canyoning with mates and they hated this biatch that was giving everyone a hard time. one o the guys made her a sandwich after he rubed his hose on the bread. monty took a photo of her eating it with a big smile on her face.
  13. oh wait, heres another one,

    [you'll love this one loz!]

    my pal matt was at work [mental hospital] and his colleague was infuriating him as usual because he didn't pull his weight, said crappy things etc. everyone hated him.

    when our hero went to the toilet he noticed a little bit o crap on the porcelian. he got the employees cap and wiped a small amount on the inside rim of the cap.

    i hope you feel better about your post now loz.
  14. i had a mate who did a few things that ticked me off a bit too much, but i was still nice to him. (how's it go - friends close and enemys closer?)
    we were having a party at his house one night, so i purposely fed him grog all night until he passed out, then i shaved half his hair, one eye brow, put his head in a large bowl and filled it with about 10 bottles of blue dye and let him soak in it for the night.

    he had court this next morning, but he deserved it
  15. oh i hope he was a lawyer!
  16. :rofl:
    MattyB, that was great!
  17. my friend heard of someone who came across a real low life. he was a huge con man.

    anyway this person didnt have the guts to get the guy back so he went to the electoral role and put con mans details on it so that anyone who wants to get him can and did.

    the police were able to find him
  18. same friend just told me he was bullied at work and the guy was having an affair on the office matress in the store room.

    my friend told his wife including details of when to open the door. he got sprung.