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Funny song titles/lyrics

Discussion in 'The Pub' at netrider.net.au started by hornet, Sep 18, 2007.

  1. Yeah, yeah, I know we've done this before, but I'm OLD and I forgot!!

    Funny song titles, and lyrics.

    An oldie was "How could you believe me when I told you that I loved you, when you you know I've been a liar all my life?"



    My favourite funny lyrics are from the Cornel Hurd Band, a song called, "I bought the shoes".

    A tavern girl that's what you were the day I found you
    But still I gave you all my love and built my world around you
    I dressed you up in fancy clothes for all the world to see
    And I bought the shoes that just walked out on me

    Yes I bought the shoes that just walked out the door
    And the ring on the hand that waved goodbye forever more
    And I bought the lipstick on the lips that begged please set me free
    And I bought the shoes that just walked out on me

    My friends that knew you tried to tell me leave her alone
    But simple minded over-anxious-me kept hanging on
    Till at last my love for you became my own worst enemy
    When I bought the shoes that just walked out on me
     
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  2. I can't think of any lyric that could be funnier to me than:

    "Nobody knows what it's like
    to be the bad man
    to be the sad man"

    Bullshit teenage angst meets awful rhyme.
     
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  3. From "99 Biker Friends" by Bowling for Soup

    I wish Bruce Lee was here right now
    With his trusty nun-chucks
    Chuck Norris is still alive
    So let's call up Walker, Texas Ranger
    All the dudes from "Danger, Danger"
    Let's get the A-Team
    50 Cent with his bling-bling
     
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  4. I herd a lyric the other day (something like)

    "I don't like illusions I can't see . . "

    It's still fcuking with my mind.
     
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  5. good idea for a thread.

    i have to say, the BEST in this department i one my compositions.

    THE POO IN THE LOO

    you asked to stay the night
    as you carressed my hair
    but something was not right
    something was in the air

    did you think i would not notice
    did you think i would not care
    did you think i would persue you to the point of
    touching your underwear!

    i know it was you

    you did a poo in my loo didnt you x3

    la la la la la x3

    touching your underwear!

    your time here was delightful
    until you mustied up the air
    you said our time together would be forever and filled fate
    so i get up to investigate

    because

    i know you
    i know you and what you do x2

    you did a poo in my loo didnt you

    ah huh

    you did a poo in my loo didnt you

    sen senses fall down around me
    and my plants, they all turned bright green
    you said our time together would be forever and filled with fate

    on ya bike
    mr contaminate

    i know you
    i know you and what you do X2

    you did a poo in my loo didnt you

    ahhh huh

    you did a poo in my loo did-nt-you!
     
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  6. Dumb Enough by the Hilltop Hoods:

    I’ll make origami of your lyrics,
    Geez that’s good Suffa, what is it? It’s a swan!

    But of course you can't go past Irish Drinking Song by Buck-O-Nine:

    "Well I stumbled and I am all drunk and full of smoke,
    My wife said, "I've had enough, I'm sick, thats it, get out!"
    So I stumbled down to Kelly's Pub across the edge of town,
    And I told the boys me story, and we had another round.

    (One, Two, Three, Four!)

    We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight! Hey!
    We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight! Hey!
    And if I see a pretty girl, I'll sleep with her tonight!
    We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!

    And mary McGregor, she was a pretty whore,
    She'd always greet you with a smile, and never lock her door,
    But on the day she died, all the men in town did weep,
    For Mary McGregor finally got some sleep.

    We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight! Hey!
    We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight! Hey!
    And if I see a pretty girl, I'll sleep with her tonight!
    We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!

    Well I once loved a girl, a child I'm told,
    I gave her my heart, and she gave me a cold,
    So now I sit, standing here out in the pouring rain,
    I'll stumble back to Kelly's Pub and cry away me pain.

    We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight! Hey!
    We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight! Hey!
    And if I see a pretty girl, I'll sleep with her tonight!
    We'll drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink and fight!"
     
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  7. the worst lyric ever has to be:

    "lucky that my breasts are small & humble so you don't confuse them with mountains"
     
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  8. My son introduced me to "Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie"

    Their seminal work brings joy to the heart of every IT geek; "Every OS sucks"


    Well, way back in the olden times,
    my computer worked for me.
    I'd laugh and play, all night and day,
    on Zork I, II and III.

    The Amiga, VIC-20 and the Sinclair II,
    The TRS 80 and the Apple II,
    they did what they were supposed to do,
    wasn't much... but it was enough.

    But then Xerox made a prototype,
    Steve Jobs came on the scene,
    read "Of Mice and Menus," Windows, Icons
    a trash, and a bitmap screen.

    Well Stevie said to Xerox,
    "Boys, turn your heads and cough."
    And when no-one was looking,
    he ripped their interfaces off.

    Stole every feature that he had seen,
    put it in a cute box with a tiny little screen,
    Mac OS 1 ran that machine,
    only cost five thousand bucks.

    But it was slow, it was buggy,
    so they wrote it again,
    And now they're up to OS 10,
    they'll charge you for the Beta, then charge you again,
    but the Mac OS still sucks.

    Every OS wastes your time,
    from the desktop to the lap,
    Everything since Apple Dos,
    Just a bunch of crap.

    From Microsoft, to Macintosh,
    to Lih-- lie-- lih-- lie... nux,
    Every computer crashes,
    'cause every OS sucks.

    Well then Microsoft jumped in the game,
    copied Apple's interface, with an OS named,
    "Windows 3.1" - it was twice as lame,
    but the stock price rose and rose.

    Then Windows 95, then 98,
    man solitaire never ran so great,
    and every single version came out late,
    but I guess that's the way it goes.

    But that bloatware'll crash and delete your work,
    NT, ME, man, none of 'em work.
    Bill Gates may be richer than Captain Kirk,
    but the Windows OS blows!
    And sucks!
    At the same time!

    I'd trade it in, yeah right... for what?
    It's top of the line from the Compuhut.
    The fridge, stove and toaster, never crash on me,
    I should be able to get online, without a PHD.

    My phone doesn't take a week to boot it,
    my TV doesn't crash when I mute it,
    I miss ASCII text, and my floppy drive,
    I wish VIC-20 was still alive...

    But it ain't the hardware, man.

    It's just that every OS sucks... and blows.

    Now there's lih-nux or lie-nux,
    I don't know how you say it,
    or how you install it, or use it, or play it,
    or where you download it, or what programs run,
    but lih-nux, or lie-nux, don't look like much fun.

    However you say it, it's getting great press,
    though how it survives is anyone's guess,
    If you ask me, it's a great big mess,
    for elitist, nerdy shmucks.

    "It's free!" they say, if you can get it to run,
    the Geeks say, "Hey, that's half the fun!"
    Yeah, but I got a girlfriend, and things to get done,
    the Linux OS SUCKS.
    (I'm sorry to say it, but it does.)

    Every OS wastes your time,
    from the desktop to the lap,
    Everything since the abacus,
    Just a bunch of crap.

    From Microsoft, to Macintosh,
    to lih-lie-lih-lie... nux.
    Every computer crashes,
    'cause every OS sucks.

    Every computer crashes... 'cause every OS sucks

    And, just to show their irreverent humour, THIS http://www.deadtroll.com/text/DNA20011107.html from their website; "DNA evidence clears Adam and Eve in Apple-Biting incident..." :rofl:
     
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  9. "push the little daisies and make them come up, push the little daisies and make them come up............."

    By Ween :grin:
     
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  10. FISH HEADS FISH HEADS

    ROLLY POLLY FISH HEADS

    FISH HEADS FISH HEADS

    EAT THEM UP

    YUM!
     
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  11. Whoa
    Uncle Harry pissing in the bath
    Whoa, pissing in the bath
    Uncle Harry pissing in the bath
    Whoa, pissing in the bath again

    He lives in a small flat all alone
    In the middle of a run down street
    Spends most evenings up the pub
    Drinking what he earned that week

    Harry keeps to himself
    Lives a quiet life
    No one can remember
    When Harry lost his mind

    Whoa
    Uncle Harry pissing in the bath
    Whoa, pissing in the bath
    Uncle Harry pissing in the bath
    Whoa, pissing in the bath again

    Oh Uncle Harry you’ve done it all again
    You’re pissing in the bath every now and then
    I caught you in the wrong place
    I caught you out of line
    I tell you not to do it
    But you do it all the time
    Do it all the time

    Whoa
    Uncle Harry pissing in the bath
    Whoa, pissing in the bath
    Uncle Harry pissing in the bath
    Whoa, pissing in the bath again

    Poor Uncle Harry lost his mind along the way
    Poor Uncle Harry happened twenty years today
    Comes around to say hello
    Little did we know
    He’s up to his old dirty tricks again
    Oh Uncle Harry, you’ve done it all again

    Oh Uncle Harry
    We really shouldn’t laugh
    But every time we turn around
    You’re pissing in the bath
    It’s just a silly habit
    And we can’t help but remind
    We tell you not to do it
    But you do it all the time
     
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  12. #12 _joel_, Sep 18, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
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  13. That "fart in a duck " was good, Loz, but I don't remember where you put it
     
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  14. Found it again, "crying with laughter here. off topic stuff
     
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  15. Spam spam spam spam.
    Lovely spam!
    Wonderful spam!
    Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam.
    Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!
     
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  17. Funniest song ever (IMHO anyways :oops: )


    I drive really slow in the ultrafast lane
    While people behind me are going insane

    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)

    I use public toilets and piss on the seat
    I walk around in the summertime saying, "How about this heat?"

    I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
    I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

    Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
    While handicapped people make handicapped faces


    A zillion years later I still have a snicker every time I hear that last line :oops:
     
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  18. This always cracked me up... Bad to have stuck in your head at work though....

    SkinHead Sooty - Doug Anthony Allstars

    Sooty's all grown up he's not a puppet anymore
    He's interested in getting p*ssed and
    passing out on the floor, Oi!
    He glassed Basil Brush with a bottle of stout
    And threw a dart in Squeek's eyes
    before he pulled it out
    Who's that walking on air?
    Bouncing down the street without a care?
    It's skin head Sooty, with the
    killer xylophone, Oi!
    With blood soaked bovver boots
    and a racist attitude
    A mean f&^*ing mother's son
    Not afraid of anyone
    Got the others on the run
    Here he comes, here he comes
    Sooty the skin, Oi!
    queek, queek, queek, queek, queek, Oi!
    Sooty's got a tattoo and he's
    gone and shaved his head
    He's dating muppets half his age
    And getting them into bed
    He says his old friends are all miserable pr*cks
    They're married now or dead and gone
    Or mentally sick
    Who's that walking on air?
    Bouncing down the street without a care?
    Well the hunt caught up with
    Basil Brush and he got clubbed
    to death
    Bill and Ben got little weed and
    smoked it in the shed
    Zebadee ODed on E and now he's pushing clover
    'It's not lawn I got it from the wombles'
    Dougal blindly humps the leg of his owner
    I say, what's that tune, said Dougal
    (Last post, damn, splinter) Ow
    Noddy is a bigot
    the clangers flew away
    The thunderbirds are puppets, No!
    And Andy Pandy's Gay!
    (and proud people, and proud,
    no strings on end, he stands
    up himself =
    these
    days)
    Who's causing havoc on the docks?
    In a pair of bright red braces
    and cherry red docs!
    It's skin head Sooty with the killer xylophone
    With a blood soaked Stanley knife
    And a racist attitude
    He'll wait until you're all alone
    Crack your skull, break your bones
    Send the pieces to your home
    He's the one
    All in fun
    Sooty the skin-head
    Oi, oi, oi, oi, Oi, Oi, Oi, Oi, Oi, Oi, Oi, Oi!
     
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  19. James Brown (R.I.P)

    She got to use just what she got to get just what she want.

    Or if you will, Hot Pants!!! smokin.
     
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  20. dancing in the disco
    bumper to bumper
    wait a minute
    where's me jumper
    where's me jumper
    where's me jumper

    dancin in the disco
    go go go
    dancin in the disco
    oh no oh no
    ...
     
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