Well, my pair of Fuglies arrived last night. I got the super-deluxe polarised polycarbonate non-shatter fog-busting make-you-bacon-and-eggs-in-the-morning variety, which at $70 incl postage would want to be pretty damn good. Now I'm a stingy b*stard. Let me clear that up from the off. I'm the kind of guy who buys $9.95 sunnies from servo's and then complains that they're crap. There isn't an item of clothing in my wardrobe, with the exception of a suit, and one pair of shoes, that cost me as much as these Fuglies. Getting the picture? So expectations were high. These things had better be all singing, all dancing, and turn me magically into Valentino Rossi, or I'd be sending them back for a refund. First impressions weren't at all promising. Nicely presented box and all, but when you come down to it, the glasses are... well... plastic. And lightweight, and, well, not very substantial at all. I put them on my head and things went even further downhill from there. No brow hugging Matrix impersonations here, these are large and rather utilitarian in their look. Now that's not to say they look bad, but they are doing nothing for my bid to one day be as sexy as George Clooney. Worse yet, while the padding around the eyepiece is soft and clever, the angle of the arms is all wrong for my head. (think of a sack of onions, then hit that sack of onions with a Mack Truck. The sack now resembles my head.) With the glasses pushed firmly into position, so that they are sealing nicely just below my eyebrows, there is at least half a centimeter gap between the glasses and my skin just BELOW my eye... which totally defeats the point of all the Guchi padding, and makes me wonder about distracting amounts of glare coming up from underneath... Well, by now I had their customer service number punched into my phone and had rehearsed my 'give me my money back' speech to perfection. However in a rare moment of rational thought I decided to give them a chance out on the roads before I wrote them off as overpriced crap. Sliding them into my helmet was perfectly painless as the arms (without the elastic attached) are designed for this purpose. I discovered that the glasses sat quite happily at an angle, with the helmet doing a very nice job of holding the arms firmly an inch or so above my ears, suddenly giving me a very nice seal all the way around my eyes. So far so good. First test: Anti Fog. I shut my visor and breathed up a storm with lots of warm moisture-ridden breaths up into my helmet. I discovered three things. 1. It is frighteningly easy to hyperventilate. 2. I need to brush my teeth more often. 3. These Fuglies WILL NOT FOG, or at least will not STAY foggy for more than the merest moment. One second it's there, and then *poof*, just like last weeks pay, it's gone. That's a pass then. Visor down, and out onto the road for the Second test: Sunlight. Well, they are polarised, which is either good, or bad, depending on whether you like polarised sunnies or not. (Wow, that's deep.) But let me say, they are fri*king brilliant. Nothing fazed them. Riding towards the sun, away from the sun, looking INTO the sun, (not recommended) anything you like. Reflections off cars were no longer dazzling and there was certainly no more squinting required. The only thing I'd say to keep in mind is that these are polarised, so there is a little bit of a 'rainbow' effect when you are looking through both the sunnies AND your visor, and the windows of the cars you can see take on this amazing 'electric force field' look which is kinda funky and also helps to make cars stand out from the background. It also saves money on LSD because now you can get the same effect just by donning the sunnies, spinning in circles till you can't stand up anymore, and then staring at some glass. Thats another pass, then. Test three: Flickering light. This was the biggest surprise for me. We've all experienced at one time or another, in the car or on the bike, light strobing between trees. While moving this becomes a flickering that varies from 'romantic' to 'epileptic' depending on your speed and the strength of the sun at the time. Worry no more. These sunnies gave me perfect forward vision while the sun did it's merry dance behind those trees. Barely even noticed. But what I DID notice totally blew me away. Maybe this is normal for ALL quality sunnies, and I've just been too stingy all my life to actually find out, but I realised as I was riding that I could see CLEARLY into areas of shadow AND areas of strong sun, at the same time. No squinting, no looking hard to pick out shapes in the darkness, just sitting and scanning as though it was an overcast day with soft light. So then, rack up another pass for the sunnies. Last test: Overcast and raining. Now I'd like to point out that this was not a planned test, but after forty minutes on the road and as I neared my destination in bayswater (why to they call it BAYSWATER? It's no where near the bay, and it has no water. WTF?) Melbourne's lovely weather weaved it's magic and turned from sunshine to brooding rain in about as long as it takes your dog to find that sausage that just slid off your plate. (Which, if you are wondering, is not very long.) I shall spare you the details, but rest assured it was another pass. So there you have it. I now sit writing this with a smug sense of satisfaction over $70 well spent. The customer service number has been erased from my phone, and the only reason why they will be hearing from me soon is to buy another pair if I manage to break these ones. (Which if my past record is anything to go by, will be right about the time that you are reading this.) If you don't have sunnies, or aren't happy with the ones you've got, then add these to the ones you should consider before you buy. I know there are cheaper sunnies, (I can point you to dozens of servo's where I've BOUGHT cheaper sunnies) and there may even be cheaper, BETTER sunnies, (although I obviously DONT know where THOSE ones are, or I would have bought THEM now wouldn't I?) but if you can drop $70 on sunnies, and you are willing to finally accept the fact that you will never be as sexy as George, then these are a great way to go.