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From the guy who paid with a dwg of a spider...

Discussion in 'The Pub' at netrider.net.au started by Roaster, Jun 5, 2009.

  1. I just got emailed this - David Thorne is the guy who tried to pay a bill with a drawing of a spider!


    Read from the top of the email down .

    From: Jeff Peters
    Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Membership Renewal

    Dear David,

    This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon.

    All the best, Jeff Peters


    From: David Thorne
    Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
    To: Jeff Peters
    Subject: Re: Membership Renewal

    Dear Jeff,

    Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 - Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.

    Regards, David.



    From: Jeff Peters
    Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

    Hello David

    How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not have those bags.

    Cheers, Jeff


    From: David Thorne
    Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
    To: Jeff Peters
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

    Dear Jeff

    Do I get free shipping with that?

    Regards, David.



    From: Jeff Peters
    Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

    Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six months.


    From: David Thorne
    Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
    To: Jeff Peters
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal
    Due

    Dear Jeff

    By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me to 'lift this', ''push that' dulled my initial enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending.

    Regards, David.





    From: Jeff Peters
    Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership
    Renewal Due

    Hello David

    Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at joining instead.

    Cheers, Jeff


    From: David Thorne
    Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
    To: Jeff Peters
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership
    Renewal
    Due

    Dear Jeff

    Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously.

    Regards, David.



    From: Jeff Peters
    Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
    Membership
    Renewal Due

    Go f$*k yourself.



    From: David Thorne
    Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am
    To: Jeff Peters
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
    Membership
    Renewal Due

    Dear Jeff

    I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another side effect is a reduction in the size of your p#$%, this gives you understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my p#$% was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on those around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be worth a try.

    Regards, David.



    From: Jeff Peters
    Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
    Membership Renewal Due

    DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN



    From: David Thorne
    Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
    To: Jeff Peters
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
    Re:
    Membership Renewal Due

    Ok.



    From: Jeff Peters
    Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
    To: David Thorne
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
    Re: Re:
    Membership Renewal Due

    Is that you being a smartar5e or agreeing not to email me again?



    From: David Thorne
    Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
    To: Jeff Peters
    Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
    Re: Re:
    Re: Membership Renewal Due

    The middle one.
     
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  2. :LOL: Good work!
     
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  3. priceless :LOL:
     
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  5. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
     
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  6. My Confession

    http://www.27bslash6.com/1000characters.html

    When I was in year ten, I would wag school to catch the bus into the city. I would hide the contents of my schoolbag and go to a christian book store called the 'Open Book', covering two levels and a second hand section in the basement. I would go in with my empty bag, select expensive theological volumes, and fill my bag with several hundred dollars worth. I would then use the toilets to remove any price tags before going downstairs to the basement where they would buy my books for half the retail price. I did this twice a week. I figured that if they caught me I would cry and ask for their forgiveness and as christians they would have let me go but they never caught on. I remember one person buying the entire Amy Grant tape collection when it had been on the shelves not ten minutes before. I was saving for a motorbike and bought a Suzuki Katana. The 'Open Book' went broke a year later so it worked out well for everyone.
     
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  8. This guy is a legend. I nearly lost my coffee when I read this:

    "I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back."

    :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
     
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